You May Now Kiss the... Uh... Guy Who Receives Quotes
Peter Griffin: Hey, whass-a happ-a wit-chu? [canned laughter]
Brian Griffin: What the hell was that?
Peter Griffin: My catchphrase.
Brian Griffin: You don't have a catchphrase.
Peter Griffin: Why you gotta say-a like-a dat?
Stewie Griffin: God, this is such an old people house, you know? I mean, look at this candy jar. Let's, uh, take a look in here. Let's see what you got here. You got, uh... oh, you got licorice. Oh, that's, uh, that's, uh... oh, oh, Freedent! Oh, that's good. Yeah, yeah, I got-- I got a sweet tooth, I think I'll have some Freedent. Yeah, uh, oh, oh, what's this? Oh, a cough drop, a Luden's cough drop. Is that candy? No, I don't think that's candy; I think it's a cough drop! Uh, what else we got? Oh, oh, look! Look at this! There's a fishing lure in here! There's a fishing lure in the candy jar! W-w-what! Am I-- am I supposed to eat this? Eat a fishing lure? Hey, look, Brian's on TV!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 19th, 2007 Mayor Adam West: I should warn you, I have a tiny bullet proof shield the exact size of a bullet somewhere on my body, and if you hit it, I'll be unharmed, and your plan will be foiled. You'll be the laughing stock of me!
Brian Griffin: [holding a gun to Mayor West] I don't want to shoot you, Mayor West!
Mayor Adam West: Good, because I'm incredibly crafty. Hey, what's that on the ceiling? [Brian looks up, and Adam jumps out of his seat] HA-HA! Now I'm over here!
Brian Griffin: Mayor West, you have to look at this. Ten-thousand signatures! I've been up for twenty-four hours, I paid off a few people, and I did a few things in West Quahog I'm not proud of.
[cut to Brian watching Sex and the City with two gay men so they will sign his petition]
Brian Griffin: So... it's a show about three hookers and their mom?
Brian Griffin: My petition! What the hell are you doing?
Chris Griffin: I'm going to get to touch right-wing boob because of this!
Peter Griffin: By the way, Lois, I got a piercing over there. I'm not gonna tell you where, but I'll give you a hint: It wasn't my nose or my ear and it was one of my balls.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 19th, 2007Glenn Quagmire: Gay marriage? Oh, come on! Two halves can't make a whole without a hole. Giggity-giggity-giggity- giggity-oo-ee-oo-ah-ah, ting-tang walla-walla bing-bang, oo-ee-oo-ah-ah, ting-tang walla-walla bing-bang!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 19th, 2007 Chris Griffin: But Brian, the bible says gay marriage is an abomination.
Brian Griffin: Oh, don't give me that Young Republican crap, Chris. The bible also says a senior citizen built an ark and rounded up two of every animal.
Peter Griffin: Oh, Jasper, where'd ya get these brownies?
Jasper: They're from a bakery in the West Quahog Gay District. I thought they'd help my depression.
Peter Griffin: Oh, I can see why, oh my God, they pack so much fudge into these. And look at this, there's even a couple of nuts lodged in there.
Jasper: I can't believe the wedding's off. All I ever wanted was to get married and make a home with a skinny hairless Filipino boy. Isn't that the American Dream?
• Vote for this Quote! • July 19th, 2007