Family Guy Quotes (Page 18)
Jillian: Hey, you wanna know something cool? I threw up a lot in high school, so I don't get my period anymore!
Lois Griffin: Wow, this is the one you've been waiting for, huh, Brian?
Stewie Griffin: No, I want to know, Brian. What specifically do you talk about?
Brian Griffin: Uh, a lot of things, Um... food, um... the new seat covers she just got for her Jetta, um... Real World / Road Rules Challenge...
Stewie Griffin: You hate MTV!
Brian Griffin: Pot helps.
Stewie Griffin: Now, why in the world would you be embarrassed about dating her?
Jillian: Oh, my God, Brian, I was watching something on TV about this guy named Hitler... somebody should stop him!
Stewie Griffin: Is she retarded?
Stewie Griffin: When do I get to meet her? [Jillian]
Brian Griffin: No, no. No way.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, I see, I get it ... she's hideous.
Brian Griffin: She is not hideous.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, well, let me ask you something: Does she have an alibi?
Brian Griffin: For what? Why would she need an alibi?
Stewie Griffin: So, you're saying she does not have an alibi?
Brian Griffin: Well, no.
Stewie Griffin: Okay, so, we've established [sings] she ain't got no alibi, she UGLY! She UGLY! [dances] U-G-L-Y, she ain't got no alibi, she UGLY!
Brian Griffin: Screw off!
Peter Griffin: Ah! Ow! Damn it!
Lois Griffin: Peter, are you all right?
Peter Griffin: No, no, I think you should call somebody.
Brian Griffin: Ma'am, are you all right?
Backup Dancer: I can't... breathe.
Brian Griffin: Oh, God, I think she punctured a lung.
Peter Griffin: Ah, damn it, look at my foot. It's already starting to swell up. God, I'm looking forward to this week. Freakin' swelled foot all week.
Stewie Griffin [to camera]: You know, we should... we should, you should, probably go ahead and shut that off.
Lois Griffin: What the hell? Marilyn Manson? Is that who's causing all this?
Peter Griffin: Yeah, it's all him or her's fault. Who does he or she think he or she is? Look, you can totally see his or her nipples. That's obscene, maybe.
Lois Griffin: There's only one thing to do.
Peter Griffin: You're right. We got to find this Marilyn Manson and I got to give that bastard or bitch a piece of my mind or penis.
Stewie Griffin: All right, you can do this, Brian. Come on, pray with me. Dear Lord... just stay out of our way. Okay, good luck.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007Stewie Grifin: You can't leave, man, that's Desertion. They'll come after you like Peter went after that hockey coach. [pause, but there's no cut away]
Stewie Grifin: Oh, no clip? Oh, thought we had a clip. Nope? Okay. Uh-uh, you can't leave, Brian...
Chris Griffin: Mayor West?
Mayor Adam West: Quiet, young man, can't you see we're having a poker game? Now, I'll ask again. If I order a pizza, will anyone else have some?
Mark: I might have a slice.
Mayor Adam West: Well, you know, I'm going to need more of a commitment than that, Mark.
Army Recruiter: Congratulations, you are both in the army.
Brian Griffin: We're both in... what? That's ridiculous!
Vaudeville Dancer Vern: I'll tell you what's ridiculous... the Kaiser. Somebody should put him on a roll.
