Family Guy Quotes (Page 20)
Meg Griffin: I love it! Dad, this is the car!
Peter Griffin: Ah-da-da-hang on a second, Meg. What can you tell me about this one?
Sleazy Salesman: Oh, that's just an old tank I use for those commercials where I "declare war on high prices." Now, about that sedan-
Peter Griffin: Aba-ah-ah-ah hang on there, slick. Now I see your game. We come in here wanting a practical car, but then you dangle this tank in front of me and expect me to walk away. Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot. Now, I demand you tell me more about this tank!
Brian Griffin: Look at all these Hummers. What kind of jerk would drive one of those?
[cut to a man in an SUV]
SUV driver: Dude, this car kicks ass! And I can watch "Madagasacar" while I'm driving!
Alex the Lion: What kind of music do you like, Gloria?
Gloria the Hippo: Hippo hop! Woohoo! Yeah, baby!
SUV driver: Dude, those animals are so f**king funny they make me want to merge without looking!
Joe Swanson: That was awesome!
Peter Griffin: Oh my god, that was completely by accident!
Glenn Quagmire [to a skinny woman facing away from him]: Hey, baby. How'd you like to share a pair of skates? [the woman turns around and is actually obese]
Obese Woman: Sure!
Glenn Quagmire: Ahhhh, never mind! Boy, you look a lot better from the back!
Obese Woman: You jerk! [turns around, looks skinny again]
Glenn Quagmire: Oh, hey, baby, you wanna go somewhere... bu-bu-bu-bu-no-no, no-no, wait, wait, Quagmire, remember what's on the other side!
Joe Swanson: Oh, Wow. Wow, if I were a woman, I would press my bare boobs up against glass in public just for the SEXUAL THRILL! THE SEXUAL THRILL!!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007 Peter Griffin: It's alright. We'll just move the party to the skating rink. Who's sober enough to drive? Uh, okay, who's drunk, but that special kind of drunk where you're a better driver because you know you're drunk? You know, the kind of drunk where you probably shouldn't drive, but you do anyway because, I mean, come on, you got to get your car home. Right? I mean, I mean, what do they expect me to do, take a bus? Is that what they want? For me to take a bus? Well, screw that! YOU take a bus.
Cleveland Brown: I'm that kind of drunk.
Peter Griffin: Shotgun!
Horace: Hey, Peter, Lois called to remind you to pick up Meg at the roller rink.
Joe Swanson: No!
Glenn Quagmire: Oh, we're just getting started!
Cleveland Brown: Oh, Meg is my least favorite of all your children.
Cleveland Brown: It's Magic Hour with Dark Chocolate...
Glenn Quagmire: And the Rod!
Radio Voiceover: IN ROD WE TRUST! 97.1! Giggidy - Giggidy - Goo!
Peter Griffin: Huh, I guess I've learned a little something about what it means to be a good dad.
Chris Griffin: Hey, Dad, you wanna play baseball?
Peter Griffin: Oh, my God, could you leave me alone? You are the neediest kid!
Joe Miller: After all, AIDS is a deadly, incurable disease. But however you come to judge the behavior of Charles Wheeler and his partners in moral, ethical, and human terms, when they fired Andrew Beckett because he had AIDS, they broke the law.
Brian Griffin: [horrified] My god, what is wrong with you?
