Family Guy Quotes (Page 3)
Jillian: Oh, my God! I've never felt so stupid!
Brian and Stewie: Really?
Jillian: Well, I don't wanna be your guilty burden, Brian. We're through! [she grabs her cloths and leaves]
Brian Griffin: Jillian, wait! [door slams] Damn it!
Stewie Griffin: I'm sorry, Brian. You'll feel better in the morning. [Stewie covers himself, then Brian turns the light out to go to sleep] Hey, you know what you should do? You should have sex with somebody else just to get back at her for walking out on you. Ju-just have sex with somebody. Anybody. Just don't-don't even think about it. The next person you see, the very next person you see.
Lois Griffin: I mean, what are you, Brian? One of those creepy guys who just uses a woman for sex? [as Lois is talking, an ad for "The Simpsons: Sundays on FOX" appears on the screen with a small Marge waving to the camera. Then a small Quagmire runs onto the screen, knocks Marge over, and tries to have sex with her. Marge resists and then kicks Quagmire off her and runs away while Quagmire, with his pants down, chases her] Because Jillian deserves better! She has feelings, you know? And she's devoted a lot of time and energy to this relationship with some expectation that it could grow into something much more significant and, if you're just stringing her along, well, then, I've got to say I've lost a lot of respect for you, Brian.
• Vote for this Quote! • November 6th, 2007 Brian Griffin: You don't really think I'm like that, do you?
Lois Griffin: Prove me wrong.
Brian Griffin: All right, I will, Lois. I will ask her to move in with me and you'll see, I've got what it takes.
Brian Griffin: Don't you understand? I don't want a committed relationship with Jillian!
Lois Griffin: Well, it sounds like she does. And if you're never gonna get serious, then you're not being fair to her.
Lois Griffin: Oh, hi, Brian. I thought you were spending the day with Jillian.
Brian Griffin: I was, but Peter took her off my hands. Perfect timing; I've been feeling a little smothered lately. Plus, it's given me a chance to work on my novel. And I finally have a title.
Lois Griffin: Oh, what is it?
Brian Griffin: "Faster Than the Speed of Love".
Lois Griffin: [chuckles] That is... that is the worst title I've ever heard.
Brian Griffin: No, i-it's the story of a boy who has to rescue his father, who's a pilot that's been taken captive by a militant Islamic country.
Lois Griffin: [laughs] That's the movie Iron Eagle!
Brian Griffin:What? Is that-is that a recent film?
Jillian: Brian, did you know that Daryl Hannah has one wooden finger?
Brian Griffin: Really? Where'd you hear that?
Jillian: In "Pe-Ople" magazine.
Meg Griffin: Wow, Dad, thanks for keeping us entertained! That was a great story!
Chris Griffin: Yeah, but didn't Robot Chicken already do this three months ago?
Peter Griffin: Well, I wouldn't worry about it, Chris. I-I don't know if people are even aware of that show's existence.
Chris Griffin: Well, I don't know, Dad. I think a decent number of people watch it.
Peter Griffin: Oh, really? Define "decent".
Chris Griffin: I think it's the highest rated show on Cartoon Network, and the Star Wars episode doubled that audience.
Peter Griffin: Well, yeah, but double ten people is, like, twenty people, so, I mean, what kind of numbers are we talking about here, you know?
Chris Griffin: Don't be glib about this stuff, Dad. It's a legitimate show, and they beat you to the punch.
Peter Griffin: Uh, I-I don't know about that, Chris. I mean, to me a legitimate show is on ABC, CBS, NBC, you know, one of the real networks.
Red Leader: All wings check in.
Red 3: Red 3 standing by.
Red 6: Red 6 standing by.
Luke Skywalker (Chris): Red 5 standing by
Red Buttons: Red Buttons standing by.
Redd Foxx: Redd Foxx standing by.
Big Red: Big Red standing by.
R2-D2 (Cleveland): [opens a hatch and shoots down a "Thai" fighter with a pistol] YEE HAW!! That's how we do it in my neighborhood, bitch!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • November 6th, 2007 Luke Skywalker (Chris): They're coming too fast!
Han Solo (Peter): [under his breath] Oh boy. Nickel for every time that's happened... just keep shooting, Luke!