Family Guy Quotes (Page 5)
Molly Ringwald Griffin: Hey, did you guys hear on the news about President Gore hunting down and killing Osama bin Laden with his bare hands?
Lois Quagmire: I know! Who would have thought bin Laden was hiding out in the cast of MADtv?
Glenn Quagmire: Man, the perfect hiding spot... the one place no one would look.
[in alternate universe]
Lois Quagmire: Meg, stop staring at Mr. Griffin! I'm sorry, Peter. I'm afraid she's got her father's libido.
Glenn Quagmire: What can I say? I'm a Vagittarius! Oh!
Peter Griffin: Oh my God! All right, don't freak out, Peter. Don't freak out like you did when your goldfish died.
[cut o Peter emptying a box of fish food into a fishbowl which is already filled with nothing but fish food]
Peter Griffin: Here ya go, Lieutenant Shiny-Sides. It's okay, you don't have to eat it now. You're just sleepin'. You'll eat it later! You'll eat it later, Lieutenant Shiny-Sides!
Brian Griffin: Ever hear the theory that if you kill a butterfly in the past, it can drastically alter the present? Well, who knows what else we changed?
[turns on the TV]
Announcer: Tonight on The Tonight Show, movie star George Clooney...
Peter Griffin: Oh, he's good.
Announcer: Comedian Dave Chappelle...
Brian Griffin: He's funny. Like him.
Announcer: And musician Harry Connick, Jr.
Peter Griffin: Wow, what a show!
Announcer: And now, ladies and gentlemen, heeeeeeeere's... Chevy!
Peter Griffin: Oh God, Brian, we messed up bad! We messed up real bad!
Brian Griffin: Relax, I was just being friendly.
Man: I will kick your ass anytime, anywhere!
Brian Griffin: Uh, okay. How about top of the World Trade Center, morning of September 11, 2001, 8:00 AM?
Man: I'll be there! You think I'll forget, but I won't!
Brian Griffin: So, uh, have you seen Ghostbusters?
Woman: Save your breath, geek wad. I'm here with my boyfriend!
Brian Griffin: You mean that quintessentially '80s guy with his collar turned all the way up?
Man: Are you hitting on my girlfriend?
Woman: Wow, you're really good at this game!
Peter Griffin: Yeah, I've logged a lot of game hours on Menstural Ms. Pac-Man.
[cut to Ms. Pac-Man eating her way across the screen, with ghosts following her. Suddenly she turns at them]
Ms. Pac-Man: WHAT?! WHAT?!
Red Ghost: Geez.
Orange Ghost: Nothing.
Purple Ghost: Bitch!
Brian Griffin [to 18-year-old Lois]: Could I Wham my Oingo Boingo into your Velvet Underground?
• Vote for this Quote! • July 26th, 2007Lois Pewterschmidt [in 1984]: Peter and I are going to see Zapped! I figured Scott Baio was androgynous enough that we could both fantasize about him and no one would be gay.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 26th, 2007 Lois Griffin: Ugh, Brian's gonna be really upset when he finds out. Eh, I'll just take him for a ride in the car... he'll forget all about it.
[cut to Lois driving Brian around]
Brian Griffin [with excitement]: Wait a minute. I know where we are! The park is near here! We're near the park, Lois! Oh, that's the tree! I peed on that! Hey Lois! Lois! There's another dog in that car! Hey, hey! Hey! Hey! There's another dog in that car! Hey! Are you seeing that?! Hey! Hey! Hey! Other dog! F**k you!
