Family Guy Quotes (Page 78)
Lois: Peter, wake up! Our son is covered in fleas!
Peter: That's nothing! When I was a kid, I was covered in ticks!
Lois: This isn't a competition!
Peter: It was back then. (Glances over at trophy, "Most Ticks 1965.")
Stewie: Damn you ice cream, come to my mouth! How dare you disobey me!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007Security Guard: Alright son, we're gonna need those two hams back.
Chris: Huh? I don't have any hams.
Guard: Lift up your shirt, son.
Chris: I need an adult! I need an adult!
Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid. Sorry about that fatty fat fatty. Hey Tom he's just a fat kid! Aren't you, fatty? You're just a big ol' fat kid. Here's some chocolate fatso.
Chris: Thanks.
Lois: What kind of egotistical, selfish, moronic and idiotic person would get liposuction... Who? WHO?
(Peter walks in at half of his weight)
Stewie: Oh my God... It has finally happened, he has become so massive that he collapsed into himself like a neutron star.
Car salesman: I'm Doug. Nice to meet you. Whoa, have you lost weight??
Peter: No, it's still there, I'm just parting it on the side.
Lois: I am not a crazy broad!
Peter: Oh, no, no, Lois, he didn't mean you're crazy like Elizabeth Taylor. He meant you're crazy, like that glue. You stick to things, y'know, like an adhesive. That's all he meant.
Lois (looking at a used car Peter wants): Peter, this car has dents in it, and it's got a cardboard steering wheel.
Peter: Just a second honey.
Lois: And look, there's no engine! It just has a drawing of an engine!
Car salesman: But it only had one previous owner....James Bond!
Peter: I'll take it!
Lois: I just wish my opinion mattered to you.
Peter: Well, the important thing is, it matters to you, and that's the greatest gift of all.
Peter: What are you gonna make me do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? 'Cause I'm married.
• Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007Peter: A guy at work bought a car out of the paper. Ten years later, Bam! Herpes.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007
