Family Guy Quotes (Page 89)

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Joe Swanson Takes Charge

Peter: Lois, you've got a sick mind!
Lois: Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter: Oh, I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 10th, 2007


Tom Tucker: Because of an accident today at the Quahog cable company, all television transmission will be out for an undetermined amount of time. Of course, no one can see this news program, so it doesn't really matter what we say. I'm the Lord Jesus Christ. I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets, how about you, Diane?
Diane Simmons: Well, Tom, I just plain don't like black people.
Camera man: Hey guys, we're still on in Boston.

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • February 10th, 2007


Peter: Oh man, Lois is really pissed at me.
Brian: Yeah, who knew welfare fraud was one of her buttons?

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 9th, 2007


Stewie: Well, Well mother we meet again.
Lois: Stewie I thought I tucked you in an hour ago.
Stewie: Not tightly enough it would seem, and now you contemptible harpy, I shall end your oppressive reign of matriarchal tyranny!

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 9th, 2007


Peter: Guys, our money problems are over; we're officially on welfare! Come on, kids, help me scatter car parts on the front lawn.

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 9th, 2007



Peter: I told Lois I wouldn't drink
Quagmire: Don't feel so bad Peter
Peter: Hey, I never thought of it that way.

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 9th, 2007


Peter: Now kids, Daddy only drank so the Statue of Liberty would take her clothes off.

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 9th, 2007


Stewie: Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb.

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • February 9th, 2007


(Peter and Brain are in jail)
Brian: Uh, how was your shower?
Peter: Oh, I tell ya Brian, all the rumors about dropping the soap are true.
Brian: Really?
Peter: Oh yeah, you can't hold onto that thing to save your life. Oh, it was slipping all
over the place. Guys were laughing.

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 9th, 2007


Judge: I'm sentencing you to 24 months in prison.
Lois: Oh no!
Brian: Oh no!
Chris: Oh no!
Meg: Oh no!
Kool Aid Guy: OOOOOOOH YA!

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 9th, 2007


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Total Quotes: 897