The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate Quotes
Joey:Hey Pheobe, do you wanna come over and help us put Ross' furniture together?
Phoebe: I wish I could but I don't want to.
Monica: Welcome to the real world! It sucks! You're going to love it.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 4th, 2007 Phoebe: I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself, and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside Port Authority, and then he killed himself. And then, I found aromatherapy! So believe me, I know exactly what you're going through.
[Rachel just gapes.]
Ross: The word you're looking for is, "Anyway…"
Rachel: They're my new "I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots" boots!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 4th, 2007 Monica: Why would anybody do something like that?!
Ross: I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than, "to get you into bed."
Monica: Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of… beacon th-that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
Chandler: Alright kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers… doesn't make much of a difference.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 4th, 2007 Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
Monica: Just breathe, that's it. Just try to think of nice, calm things.
Phoebe: Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Doorbells and sleigh bells and something with mittens. La la la la la la something and noodles with string ...
Rachel: I'm all better now.
Phoebe: I helped!
[Joey tweaks Ross about his ex-wife being a lesbian.]
Ross: She didn't know! How should I know?
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.
[Everyone turns to stare at him.]
Chandler: Did I say that out loud?
Monica: There's nothing to tell! It's just some guy I work with.
Joey: Come on! You're going out with the guy. There's gotta be something wrong with him.
Chandler: So, does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Phoebe: Wait! Does he eat chalk? Just 'cause I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl.
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and… not having sex.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
