Friends Quotes (Page 5)
Monica: I know of two sure-fire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is sex.
Rachel: What's the other one?
Monica: I don't know. I've never had to use the other one.
Rachel: I wish I could get him to open up a little bit, share some feelings.
Phoebe: That's easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles that won't open.
Rachel: So what are you saying; I should run him under hot water and bang his head against a table?
Phoebe: No, that's what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
Paul: I said "don't see my daughter again or I'll have you fired". What you heard was "take my daughter come up to my country house and ruin my weekend with Rachel".
Ross: Please let me explain.
Paul: No, let me explain. Fired!
Ross: Fine then, have me fired. But I just want you to know... you and I are not so different. For I too am a "neat guy".
Paul: Huh?
Ross: And I too "am just a love machine".
[He hums "Love Machine" and grunts loudly. Paul looks awkwardly at Rachel and Elizabeth.]
Paul: Let me show you the guest bedroom, Ross!
Paul: [to self] Okay, you're doing well. She likes you. And you know why? Because you are a neat guy. You are the man. You are the man! [sings] I'm just a love machine...
• Rating 1.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 8th, 2007 Elizabeth: What's wrong?
Ross: I'm sorry, I was just thinking about your father.
Elizabeth: Okay... well whatever works for you.
Rachel: It seemed my prom date had stood me up, so, selflessly, Ross offered to take me.
Elizabeth: What a sweet story!
Paul: So, Ross, you were in college, and you jumped at the opportunity to take a young girl to her high school prom?
Rachel: Wow! Did not see that one backfiring.
Monica: You know, it's such a surprise to see Ross here at this time of day, as he's normally at the children's hospital.
Phoebe: But not looking for dates!
Ross: Alright, a joke, lighten the mood. Two guys walk into a bar, and one of them is Irish.
Paul: I'm Irish.
Ross (hesitantly): ...And the Irish guy wins the joke.
Monica: Is there a Mrs. Stevens?
Chandler: There's a Mr. Bing!
Paul: No, Lizzie's mother passed away shortly after she was born.
All: Aww!
Paul: I get that a lot.
Chandler: Well, you don't look good, Joe.
Joey: The fridge broke, so I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limes. Oh, and what was in that brown jar?
Chandler: That's still in there?
Joey: Not any more.
