Die, Jerk Quotes
Lorelai: Twenty-three is old. It's almost twenty-five, which is, like, almost mid-twenties.
Rory: She did not say that.
Lorelai: She did say that.
Rory: It seems a little wrong that Jessica Simpson is alive and well and Roy got eaten by his tiger.
Lane: Remember when I was a kid, my mother showed me the special jug that's been passed down in my family for years and years in a long-standing Kim tradition that she is personally going to present to the boy I'm going to wed?
Rory: Oh, my God. The marriage jug?
Lane: The marriage jug.
Rory: She's sending Dave the marriage jug? What does that mean?
Lane: I'm guessing it means she's reserving a hall and ordering that "Stations of the Cross" ice sculpture.
Rory: More broccoli, Grandpa?
Richard: Absolutely. Staves off the cancer.
Lorelai: Staves off my appetite.
Emily: You really should eat more green things, Lorelai.
Lorelai: I plan to eat a five-dollar bill later tonight.
Lorelai: So, Davey, beautiful day, huh? What would you like to discuss? Middle East peace, the space program? I'm sorry, what's that? Oh, my God. He said, "the answer to the problems in the mideast is, 'I have to poop.'"
Sookie: He got distracted.
