How I Met Your Mother Quotes (Page 10)
Barney: Yeah, she's not a prostitute.
Marshall: What? Why did you say she was?
Barney: It's more fun this way.
Ted: Mary, I'm sorry. I can't do this.
Mary: What's wrong?
Ted: You're a prostitute.
Mary: No, I'm a paralegal.
Ted: No, you're a prostitute.
Mary: No, I'm a paralegal.
Ted: No, you're a prostitute.
Ted: I feel like Richard Gere.
Mary: You’re not shy about your looks, are you?
Ted: Hey.
Robin: Hey. Mary seems nice. Have you kissed her yet? Or are you waiting until you are in a serious relationship with someone else?
Barney: That’s adorable Ted. You’re such a hayseed. The companionship business is the growth industry of the 21st century. You do realize that 1 out of every 8 adult women in America is a prostitute.
Marshall: Dude you just made that up.
Barney: Withdrawn.
Marshall: Lawyered!
Lily: You know, Barney, for anyone else, this would be a new low but sadly for you, it’s just a new middle.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • March 30th, 2007 Barney: Good day! [leaving]
Ted: [as Barney stands there, Ted starts laughing] You’re just waiting for me to say something so you can interrupt.
Barney: [As he stomps out, screaming] I SAID GOOD DAY!
Barney: Dude, your views on professional fornicators are harshing my mellow.
• Vote for this Quote! • March 30th, 2007 Ted: Look, I shouldn’t go.
Marshall: You should definitely go, look, it’s a chance to show her you are still friends and that you support her.
Barney: Or it’s a chance to mess with her head by showing up with someone hotter, or even better, triple threat, hotter and bigger boobs!
Ted: That’s only two.
Barney: Count again!
Barney: [To Ted] Do you have some puritanical hang up on prostitution? Dude, it’s the world’s oldest profession.
Marshall: Do you really think that’s true?
Barney: Oh yeah, I bet even Cro-Magnons used to give cave hookers an extra fish for putting out.
Marshall: Ah ha, so the oldest profession would be fishermen. Kaboom! You’ve been lawyered!
