How I Met Your Mother Quotes (Page 12)
Barney: So Robin, do you ever, uhh, report on train wrecks? Because [long pause] I just saw one! Whaaatt uppp! [to kid in class] Tiny five!
• Vote for this Quote! • March 30th, 2007 Little girl: Do you have a fiancée?
Lily: Marshall was here yesterday, they just learned the word fiancée.
Robin: Oh no, I don’t have a fiancée.
Little girl: Then who do you live with?
Robin: Well, actually, I’ve got five dogs.
Little girl: Don’t you get lonely?
Robin: No, I’ve got fiiive dogs
Little girl: My grandma has five cats and she gets lonely.
Robin: Well, yeah, that’s cats, I’m not some pathetic cat lady, not that your grandmother is some pathetic cat lady – doeesss anybody else have questions?
Little boy: Are you a lesbian?
Robin: NO, ARE YOU? Jeez [mumbles] Every woman that lives alone is not a lesbian.
Sandy Rivers: [to Robin] We should have sex!
Robin: What?!?!
Sandy Rivers: Why not, we’re both available, we’re both attractive, we’re both good at it, at least I’m good at it, and even if you’re not, don’t worry, I’ll have a good time either way.
Robin: Well moving past the horrifying image of your hair helmet clanging against the headboard, I don’t get involved with people I work with.
Sandy Rivers: Get involved? Who said get involved? I'm just saying we should have sex! Having sex is fun!
Lily: I made you a sack lunch. [giggles]
Marshall: I love you because, one, you made me a sack lunch, and two, you laugh every time you say the word "sack."
Marshall: I want to give you the package.
Lily: The package? You’ve already given me the package, you’ve got a great package, Marshall, I love your package.
Marshall: Lily, you are the most incredible woman I know. You deserve a big package.
Lily: Your package has always been big enough. You may not realize this Marshall Eriksen, but you’ve got a huge package!
[Marshall turns around at bar to see hot girl eying him up and smiling fiendishly]
Lily: So if those guys pressure you to smoke, what do you say?
Marshall: Only when I’m drunk.
Lily: Good boy.
Lily: [shows Marshall new painting] What do you think?
Marshall: Steak Sauce!
Lily: Steak Sauce?
Marshall: Yeah!
Barney: [to Marshall] You’re different. Now I suppose you could learn to love yourself for the unique little snowflake you are or you could change your entire personality – which is just so much easier!
• Vote for this Quote! • March 30th, 2007Ted: Long distance is a lie teenagers tell each other to get laid the summer before college.
• Vote for this Quote! • March 29th, 2007 Victoria: I'm going to meet Ted for our 2 month-iversary.
Robin: Oh great, that answers all of the questions I didn't ask.
