How I Met Your Mother Quotes (Page 15)
Ted: [narrating] When you meet someone special, suddenly life's full of firsts: the first kiss, the first night together, the first weekend together. For me, all those firsts happened within 48 hours of meeting Victoria.
• Vote for this Quote! • March 29th, 2007 Robin: No. I thought we're just hanging out as friends.
Barney: Oh, come on. You've been throwing yourself at me all night.
Robin: What? I did the opposite, I threw some other girl at you.
Barney: You invited me up to your apartment to play Battleship. Is that not an internationally recognized term for sex?
Barney: Ted, oh my gosh, I love this moment. You know why? Because I'm going to say it and this time you're actually going to say 'yes'. You're ready? Ready to say 'yes' Ted? Suit up!
Ted: Yes! [about to leave but then steps back] No.
Barney: That's right, I just got paid for sex! [smiles at 50 dollars] Maybe I should give this money to the Peace Corps. They've done so much for me tonight.
• Vote for this Quote! • March 28th, 2007Lily: Okay, what is wrong with the two of you? He likes you and you like him and ju-just be together! Geez Louise! Happiness is not that difficult!
• Vote for this Quote! • March 28th, 2007Barney: Sorry, buddy, wish I could help you, but my hands are tied. Oh, no, wait. That was last night. [makes a whipping sound]
• Vote for this Quote! • March 28th, 2007 Barney: [flips open his cell] This better be good, I'm about to enter Nirvana... by the way, I should give you Nirvana's phone number, she gives a great massage--say whaaat?
Massagist: Barney! [slaps him with her foot]
Barney: Ow! I know the house rules: es un chiste!
Marshall: A drumroll? That's it? So, what, you just said good night, came home and... performed a drum solo?
Lily: Oh Ted, you're such a doof. I mean, this girl sounds amazing.
Ted: She was completely amazing. She was amazing, and funny, and we connected on every level, and I'm never gonna see her again.
[Marshall and Lily look at Ted in disbelief at what he's saying.]
Ted: Dammit, I have to see her again!!
Marshall and Lily: YES!
Marshall: So, let's get to work, man! What else do you know about her?
Ted: Nothing! Her name's Victoria; that's all I got...wait, Claudia. Claudia would know.
Lily: Claudia is on her honeymoon. She'll be back in two weeks; call her then.
Ted: Yes, two weeks, good idea... I'm calling her now.
Lily: No, Ted, you don't mess with the honeymoon.
Marshall: Yea, come on dude. [whispering] Ask her about the cake.
Lily: [about throwing the wedding bouquet] It's such an evil tradition.
Ted: You're not gonna do it at your wedding?
Lily: Hell, yeah! I'm gonna take that flower grenade and chuck it to the crowd and scream, "Crawl for it, bitches!" It's just what girls do.
Lily: Ohhh... what is wrong with you?
Marshall: Y-Dude, that is just, like, a weenie-ass idea.
Ted: No! It was awesome! I had a great night, I'm never going to see her again, and there's no way to ruin it.
Marshall: Ted, how do I explain this to you: last night I ate the best cake of my life. You think I'm gonna let that cake out of my life? Hell no! I'm gonna find out what bakery made that cake, and then I'm gonna get some more cake!
Ted: The cake really got to you, huh?
Marshall: ... It haunts me.
