How I Met Your Mother Quotes (Page 8)

Lily Aldrin Pic

Barney: Ted, do you want me to slap you again? 'Cause I kinda enjoyed it the first time.

  • Vote for this Quote! • March 30th, 2007


[Barney slaps Ted across the face]
Ted: Ow! What the hell?
Barney: That wasn't me, that was the universe.

  • Vote for this Quote! • March 30th, 2007


Barney: This feud goes so far back, I don't even remember who fired the first shot.
Marshall: You?
Barney: Totally!

  • Vote for this Quote! • March 30th, 2007


Marshall: Executive mischief consultant Marshall Erikson reporting for duty.
Barney: Let’s make that bastard pay.
Marshall: Do you think that we should brush our teeth first?
Barney: Yea, that’s probably a good idea.

  • Vote for this Quote! • March 30th, 2007


Waitress: Be careful, the plate is very hot!
Ted: Oh go on, touch it.
Lily: Ahh. Sweet damn, that’s a hot plate!

  • Vote for this Quote! • March 30th, 2007



Older Ted: Here's the thing about mistakes. Sometimes, even when you know something's a mistake, you gotta make it anyway.

  • Vote for this Quote! • March 30th, 2007


Robin: Okay, I've missed you. Not in a "we're gonna make out" way, not even in an "I forgive you" way. Just in an "I've missed you" way.
Ted: I'll take what I can get.

  • Vote for this Quote! • March 30th, 2007


Robin: And look, you can still travel, you can still paint, and as far as your lesbian experience. [kisses Lily] Happy?
Lily: Yeah. So, field hockey, huh?
Robin: Shut up.

  • Vote for this Quote! • March 30th, 2007


Lily: I can't believe I unloaded like that on a high school senior.
Robin: I can't believe a high school senior unloaded like that on me

  • Vote for this Quote! • March 30th, 2007


Marshall: It'll be cool. I'll tell you what, we'll make a game out of it. First one to stuff a hundred invitations gets a big prize.
Ted: Do I look like I'm four? [pause] All right, what kind of prize are we talkin' about?

  • Vote for this Quote! • March 30th, 2007


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Total Quotes: 224