Faked My Own Death Quotes
Natalie: Looks like someone got himself an STD.
Dirk: I can live with that.
Natalie: Look on the second page.
Dirk: Aw, crap! Damn shower caps!
Earl: [narrating] Sometimes Randy takes a long road to a simple thought.
Randy: You see, men think different than women. You and I think different than Natalie and Catalina 'cause we're men and they're women. I'm right, right? I'm not wrong. Am I wrong?
Randy: Maybe you should listen to Catalina. She's a woman, just like Natalie. They're both women; her and Natalie. You and I are men, Earl. We're not women.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 27th, 2007Randy: Yeah, I'm glad she's not dead any more. Being dead is definitely worse than being alive. When you're dead you can't do all the cool stuff you can do when you're alive. You and I, we can do all kinds of cool stuff 'cause we're living, we're not dead, we're alive. If we were dead we wouldn't be able to do all the cool stuff we can do, because we're alive. Dead people can't do cool stuff. Only people that are alive can do cool stuff, 'cause they're living, and you have to be living to be able to do cool stuff. You have to be alive. Yeah, 'cept when you're alive sometimes bad stuff happens too. Like sometimes you can get into a car wreck, or you can have a headache or twist your ankle or even stub your big toe... So being alive is kinda hard too, but I think it's definitely better than being dead...
• Vote for this Quote! • July 27th, 2007 Dirk: Hey Earl, is there a condom machine around here?
Earl: No, Dirk!
Dirk: Hey, what are these?
Catilina: Shower caps.
Dirk: That could work!
