Scrubs Quotes
Turk: Look Jen, if you need any legal help concerning your accident, you can talk to Jim who is a very successful, bulldog of a lawyer, or you can talk to Ted, who, well-
Ted: My Mom calls me Thunder.
Jen: I'm going to go with the less shiny one.
Jim: Tough break there, Thunder.
Ted: YOU'RE NOT MY MOM JIM!!! YOU'RE NOT MY MOM!!!
Todd: Okay, I've got something we can't give her permanently, but I can guarantee she'll enjoy it while she has her hands on it-
Janitor: No! Preemptive strike on the sex joke. Take a timeout.
J.D.: Why don't you just give up that apartment, you said it's so small, plus I think it would be fun if the baby was around here for a few months.
Kim: Okay, I'll give it up.
J.D.: Incidently, that's not the first time she's said that today, if you know what I'm talking about.
Turk: Mmmhmm, I know what you're talking about.
J.D.: I hit it, and I hit it good--
Turk: Yes you did.
J.D.: --Rowdy style, we have to look out for that belly, it's dangerous.
Turk: Before Izzy was born, if I saw a half-eaten meatball sub in the trash you better believe I would dust that bad boy off and go to town on it! But now, I'm not risking my health eating trash-food. I mean, unless it's a corn dog.
Dr. Cox: Thank god you've procreated.
J.D.: is it still cool to say get a room? I don't know, I'm going for it anyway...Get a room!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 9th, 2007 Janitor: Ah, hey everyone. I've been looking for a new roleplaying game ever since my Lord Of The Rings-club booted me for using an actual warhammer, so would anyone mind if I pretended to be Chief of Medicine while Kelso is out of town?
Everyone: *Unison approval*
Janitor: Fantastic! Let's make cancer feel foolish!
Turk: How you doin'?
J.D.: Not too bad, considering there was just a bomb dropped on me.
Turk: This thing was bigger than a bomb. It's more like an asteroid about to hit the planet. You know, people running in the middle of the streets like, "Oh my God, it's coming right at us!". Then dudes turn to hot chick and are like, "Look, we 'bout to die, so could I hit that?" And the girl's like "Hell to the no!". But then realizes, "Oh my God, I'm about to die. So you know what, yes you can hit this, but no kissing."
J.D.: That's exactly what it's like.
[J.D. is handed his beer with a pineapple wedge.]
J.D.: [to bartender] Thank you. [back to Turk] I'm just so mad I don't know what to say to her. [Old MC leans in] Don't you dare! [Old MC shrugs and walks away] Part of me wants to talk to her, part of me wants to—
Old MC: Bust a move!
J.D.: You have a problem sir! Seek help!
J.D.: Were you ever planning on telling me?
Kim: Yes, But I didn't know what to say.
J.D.: How about "J.D., I think there might be something living inside my uterus."
Turk: How do you know sign language?
Janitor: Well, when I was in high school I was a volunteer janitor at the Hoboken Zoo. And one night I was out plucking peac**k feathers to sell for pens when I noticed Gary the gorilla making the sign for food. I gave him my danish. He gave the sign for thank you. Those were the only two signs that Gary knew. Except for boobs. He liked them big and hairy.
The Todd: Join the club, playa.
Janitor: Get away.
The Todd: (shrugs) Okay. (walks away)
Janitor: So, eventually Gary, I'm sorry to say, died of lung cancer. For that I blame myself because I used to share my smokes with him. But he also piqued my interest in signing and in his memory I took my first signing class.
J.D.: Is any of that true?
Janitor: Someone would have to read it back to me.
J.D.: Hello Mr. Francis. When did your son start having stomach pains? (Father does sign language) Oh, I'm sorry, you're deaf. Its okay. (Turns to son) Will you help me communicate with your dad? (Son does sign language too) Oh, you're deaf too. What are the odds? (J.D. looks confused) Wait, I'm a doctor I should probably know that.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 9th, 2007
