My Coffee Quotes
Dr. Cox: I mega-loathe you all.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 7th, 2007 J.D.: [voiceover] The only thing worse than not knowing why a patient is crashing, is being offered help by the hospital's grief counselor, Dr. Hedrick.
Dr. Hedrick: Need help, old friend?
J.D.: Oh yeah, her kidneys are failing, give her a pep talk, stat.
Dr. Cox: Alright, who can tell me anything about Mr. Pierce?
Keith: He uses oil heaters at his house in New Hampshire
Dr. Cox: That answer was either very sarcastic or very stupid, either way I'm whacking you with my clipboard [holds clipboard up] brace yourself.
Keith: Wait, he's hypoxic with a clear chest x-ray which can be a sign of carbon monoxide poisoning. I learned that watching House.
Lisa: House is a genius!
Dr. Cox: ...that's it I'm whacking both of you [whacks both] look I know you all curl up on your futons at night dreaming of cracking a real-life medical mystery so that some doctor slash super model will want to touch your eruption button, but here's the bad news, this isn't a TV show, there aren't any cameras over here, real medical mysteries don't happen every week and doctors damn sure don't look like models, they look like Rex.
Rex: What?
Dr. Cox: Chin up ya ugly bastard. So if you want to solve a real mystery go ahead and figure out who is taking my New York Times every Sunday, or better yet how bout why anybody on the planet actually thinks Dane Cook is funny. As far as Mr. Pierce goes he has your run of the mill pulmonary embolism, and I know, I know it's a boring medical diagnosis but that's what hospitals are: boring.
