Scrubs Quotes (Page 10)
Danni: That silence.. That's you breaking up with me.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 2nd, 2007 J.D.: [to unkempt female doctor] Hey Janice, is it windy out?
Janice: No, why do you always ask me that?
J.D.: Because I'm... I'm captain of m... my kite-flying team... the m... mighty kites!
J.D.: What is wrong with you? Is it because I called you "Smelliot"? Because I can't believe you haven't heard that before.
Elliot: J.D., I don't care if you call me that.
J.D. [announcing]: Hey, everybody! She's cool with "Smelliot"!
The Todd: Oh! So he can call you "Smelliot", but I'm not allowed to call you "Vagina Face"?
Elliot: Not the same, Todd!
The Todd [stormig off]: Hmph!
Doug: [to the Janitor who is using a German persona] Hey Klaus, in your country, how come Hamburg and Frankfurt have nothing to do with hamburgers or hot dogs?
Janitor: [Fake German accent] Why is your Lake Titicaca not filled with boobs and poop?
J.D.: [to the Janitor] You're an actor!
Janitor: You're a fireman! What are we doing?
Jordan: I'm having second thoughts about our giant nanny. She's lovely and all, but every time the fridge is empty, she looks at our son like he's a plate of ribs.
Dr. Cox: Well, you shoulda let me hire the really skinny model. At least if she ate Jack, she'd throw him up right after.
J.D.: No more stealing her purse just so you can return it later in hopes that she’ll be so grateful she’ll use the money recovered to buy you a drink and maybe have sex with you after.
Danni: Did that work?
J.D.: I stole the wrong purse. And yes.
Dr. Kelso: [into phone] Darling, I want to say something. For the past 25 years, we've been going through the motions -- once every couple of weeks we have sex, and then we have breakfast without saying a word. Well, tonight, I want you to put on a nice dress, because I'm gonna take you to dinner and I'm gonna start telling you all the things I haven't taken the time to say all these years. ... I love you, too.
[Kelso hangs up.]
Ted: That was... beautiful, sir!
Dr. Kelso: Thanks, Ted. Call my wife, tell her I won't be home tonight.
J.D.: Uh, Dr. Cox, my brother was wondering if he could trail with us today....
Dr. Cox: Good God in heaven, Newbie, there are just so very many ways for me to say this to you: Never; not in a million years; absolutely not; no way, Jose; no chance, Lance; nyet; negatory; mm-mm; nuh-uh; oh-oh; and of course my own personal favorite of all time, man falling off of a cliff -- "NOOOOOOOoooooooo!
J.D.: What the hell?
Janitor: It's a riddle! Two guys destroyed your bike with a crowbar and a bat! One of them wasn't me!