Scrubs Quotes (Page 11)
J.D.: Hey, Sean, you were right about me and my interns. I guess I owe you an apology.
Carla: Damn straight, you do! You know what your problem is, Bambi? You're-- Oh! Turk! Please? Just one more second? I need the rush! Please?
Elliot: Oh, so you've never dreamt about your wedding day.
J.D.: (drifts off)
Priest: Do you, John Dorian, take Marcia Brady to be your wife?
Marsha Brady: My name is Maureen McCormick.
J.D.: Marsha, please! Continue, Father.
Marsha Brady: (gazes adoringly at J.D.)
Elliot: [Upon applying red lipstick in preparation for a date] Dr. Cox, does this shade of red make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No... Barbie no. It makes you look like a prostitute that caters exclusively to clowns.
Elliot: Oh! Ah... that was my mistake, I keep forgetting that you're a horrible, horrible person.
Head of Radiology: These are my machines!
Carla: Sir-
Head of Radiology: MY MACHINES!
Turk: Whose machines?
Head of Radiology: They're mine! Mine! My machines! They're mine! Mine! My machines!
JD: (to Turk) How was that helpful?
Nurse Roberts: You'll be okay, Marshmallow.
Elliot: Laverne, do you call me "Marshmallow" because I'm soft and easily flattened?
Nurse Roberts: Well, yeah.... But, if it makes you feel any better, it's also because you're very white.
J.D.:If she was your daughter you'd totally know how to handle it.
Dr. Cox: My god, you're right.
[After punching Kelso]
Dr. Cox: You're doing fine there, Barbie.
Elliot: (stunned)... Thank you?
Dr. Cox: Everybody have a good one! I'm going home to see my son.
J.D.: Look, I'm sorry I was such a jerk yesterday, okay? I mean, come on, look at this floor! You could practically eat off of it!
Janitor: Would you?
J.D.: Would I what?
Janitor: Would you eat off the floor?
[Janitor drops a piece of ham on the floor]
[J.D. leans down to eat it]
J.D.'s Narration: As I bent down to eat that peppered floor turkey, unaware that the cleanser the Janitor uses is an extremely potent diuretic, I realized something... the reason we're doctors is because we have an innate desire to help people.
[J.D. walks off]
Janitor: That was disgusting
Spence:: That guy?
J.D.: Yes!
Spence:: What about that guy?
J.D.:: Look it's probably easier if I just tell you whose butt I haven't had my fingers up.
Dr. Cox: Lemme ask you a quick question: are you trying to make my head explode? Because you have no idea just how frustrating it is working your ass off trying to inflate a tiny little balloon inside somebody's clogged artery when all that person has to do, really is--oh, I don't know--go for a walk in the morning or choke down a fresh green salad. And you come back here looking like that? And, I know here, I know I'm supposed to be Dr. Give-A-Crap, but you wanna hear the God's honest truth? And this is a fact: you are what you eat. And you clearly went out and devoured a big fat guy, didn't ya?
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 30th, 2007Dr. Cox: My God, newbie, it's been two furiously frustrating years. How is it possible that you still don't get me? I would never compare you to the gays. I like the gays. I like their music. I like their sense of style. I especially like what they've done with Halloween, but our thing is that you are a little girl. That's who you are.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 30th, 2007