Scrubs Quotes (Page 14)

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Ted

Turk: She called me Mr.
Carla: Maybe it's because you're bald.
Turk: I'm not bald. I shave my head.
Carla: Then let it grow back
Turk: Careful baby.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 30th, 2007


Janitor: What's up?
J.D.: [voiceover] Be careful here. Don't give him anything.
J.D.: Nothing, What is up with you... Man.
Janitor: I always get this way in the fall, y'know. Summers gone, the days are shorter, just makes me feel so... what's the word...
J.D: Sad.
Janitor: Yes that's it. I'm a janitor so I couldn't think of the word sad. I was gonna say it makes me feel so mop!
J.D.: Let me explain, I--
Janitor: Go ahead I'm mopping.
J.D.: Maybe I shouldn't bother.
Janitor: Maybe you mopn't.

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 30th, 2007


Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid, one of the nurses found your stethoscope in the bathroom.
Elliot: Oh, thank you so much, sir --
Dr. Kelso: [whipping the stethoscope away] This isn't it, sweetheart. I had them leave yours where it was. Let's try to be a little more responsible, shall we?

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 30th, 2007


Carla: Hey Bambi, you know Mr. Simon made one of the night nurses cry?
J.D.: Which one?
Carla: Frank.
J.D.: Frank used to be a Navy SEAL.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 30th, 2007


J.D.: [To the bartender] I must have left my wallet in my other onesie...

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 30th, 2007



Dr.Cox: Oh dear lord, tell me thats not a onesie.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 30th, 2007


Dr.Cox:[outside of J.D's apartment] You open up this door with in the next three seconds or I will start huffing and puffing

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 30th, 2007


Dr. Cox: [to the psychologist] Relationships don't work they way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won't they? And then they finally do, and they're happy forever, gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, y'know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, because I do... believe in it. Bottom line: it's couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something.

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 30th, 2007


Dr. Cox: [to the psychologist] And bam! The shine's off the apple. And that's when you find out that that pretty little girl you married isn't a pretty little girl at all. No, she's a man-eater. And I'm not talking about the "whoa-whoa, here she comes" kind of man-eater. I'm talking about the kind that uses your dignity as a dishtowel to wipe up any shreds of manhood that might be stuck inside the sink. And of course, I may have tormented her from time to time, but, honest to God, that's what I thought marriage was all about. So much so, that, by the end of that relationship, I honestly don't know who I hated more - her or me. I used to sit around and wonder... why our friends weren't trying to destroy each other, like we were. And here it turns out, the answer's pretty simple: They weren't unhappy. We were.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 30th, 2007


Dr. Cox: [to the psychologist] Relationships? Well, Sigmund. Relationships are so... fragile. It just takes one thing, one... tiny little offense, and it can snowball on ya. And if that snowball starts to pick up speed, God forbid, you'd better tuck and go, my friend.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 30th, 2007


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