Scrubs Quotes (Page 5)
Jill Tracy: I know he wasn't here yesterday. But I thought maybe he got the day wrong and he'd be here today with roses. Is that sad?
JD: It's not not sad.
Carla: I'm having a weird pregnancy craving. Hey J.D., if you you go out, would you get me a hot Italian sausage?
Todd: I've got a hot Italian sausage for you, right here!
[blank stares, head shakes]
Todd: People think I just luck into these situations, but it's really a lot of hard work. You know what else is hard? ...I should go.
J.D.: I think I may vomit.
Dr Cox: [Turns to the interns following him] OK that's it. This right here [draws line] is the get hit line. Cross it at your own risk.
Intern: When do you turn nice? This is getting kinda old.
Dr Cox: Never Lesley.
Lesley: He knows my name!
Dr Cox: [whistles] I was just calling you by a random girls name. Listen please, I don't care about any of your problems. I have no answers for any of you.
Gloria: But my boyfriend's bi-curious and he wants me to pick his lovers.
Dr Cox: I might have an answer for that. Eww. I mean come on children, what do you actually think is going to happen here? Do you think I'm going to take you, and sit you down next to me [sits Rex down next to him and puts an arm around him. JD walks in], and say um... Listen, if you need anything you've got my pager, just know that I'm there for you always.
JD: Oh. My. God!
Dr Cox: Newbie...
J.D.: Zip it! I am so gee darned pissed right now. I was okay when you kept me at arms length because everyone said that was just Cox, that's how he operates, and I believed them. Now I walk in on this, this... bi-racial love fest! You know what? I hate to do it but I'm giving you back the pencil. That's right, the pencil you gave me on my third day of work. You handed it off to me like a tiny yellow baton, but you were trying to say to me "JD you are the new me. You, JD, are my mentee. You, are my son."
Dr Cox: What pencil?
JD: Oh that's perfect. That's perfect. You know what? Take it. Maybe you can use it with Rex, or Gloria... or that guy.
Dr Cox: That guy's name is Lesley.
JD: His name is Lesley. His name is Lesley. Your name is Lesley. Alright, good for you Lesley. [Walks away before running back and tackling the intern] LESLEY!!!
Jordan: [to Elliot] Don't tell anyone I'm nice.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007 Jordan: You know, one of the reasons I divorced Perry was because of his last name.
Elliot: You don't like Cox?
Jordan: Actually, I love Cox.
Todd: [walks up, knocks on table] Greatest conversation ever.
Jordan: See, that's the problem.
Todd: [Overhears: "This sausage is huge!"] Excuse me ladies, I'm needed elsewhere.
Obnoxious Patient: You remind me of my bulldog.
Dr. Cox: As a doctor, I rarely root for the disease, but with you I find myself cheering, "Go hypercalcemia with underlying MEN syndrome. Go, go, go, go!
Obnoxious Patient: Do you drink out of the toilet? My bulldog drinks out of the toilet.
J.D.: [to Turk over walkie-talkies] Brown bear, are you nude right now?
Turk: Yeah! How did you know?
J.D.: Your voice is always higher when you're nude.
Turk: Hahaha. That's true!
Dr. Cox: [in the background] It's not weird that you know that.
Elliot: J.D. I don't want to do this! Can't we just go home and put our PJ's on and watch Grey's Anatomy?
J.D.: Oh, I do love that show. It's like they've been watching our lives, and then just put it on TV!
Carla: What if I said "There's a skinny Turk"?
Turk: [Looks Offended]
Carla's Narration: And now his boyfriend will comfort him...
JD: [Appearing from no where] Don't listen to her Brown Bear, your body is fierce!
Turk: Is it?
JD: Like Taye Diggs!
Turk: [to Carla, smugly] Taye Diggs
Turk: [To J.D.] Let's think about some of the great girls you've let slip through your fingers - Kylie, Jamie, Gift Shop Girl, Mini McSkinny, Mole Butt, Tina Two Kids, Rumplefugly... I'm forgetting someone.
Carla: [thinking] Oh my God, Turk, if you forget Elliot, she's gonna cry. [aloud, motioning furiously to Elliot] Turk, aren't you forgetting the greatest girl of them all?
Turk: [snaps his fingers] Heidi Horse-face!
Elliot: [in tears] Me, Turk, she is talking about me, okay.
J.D.: Relax, Elliot, you're Mole Butt.
