Scrubs Quotes (Page 6)
Ted: Did you hear the lottery's up to $100,000,000? If I win, it's going to be separate beds for me and my mom!
Carla: And you could spend the other $99,999,000 on therapy.
J.D.: (After being attacked in a body bag by Doug) Doug! Why are you hitting me?!
Doug: I thought you were a dead person coming back to life!
J.D.: ...Then why were you hitting me?!
Doug: Dead people should be dead!
J.D.: You're not aware of any sort of odd underground canal system beneath the hospital are you? I think I saw a manatee.
Janitor: Was his name Julien?
J.D.: We didn't exchange pleasantries.
Janitor: That's Julien.
Dr. Cox: Look at me and Jordan. Y'know how we hate everyone? Well, that goes double for children. It's true. They're loud, you can't understand them... They're like tiny cab drivers.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007 Dr. Cox: Hate to burst your bubble there, Barbie, but your endocrinology fellowship lasted all of five days. Granted, to you, five days may seem like an eternity seeing as it's roughly five times as long as any of your white, pasty relationships have lasted, but trust me, it hardly makes you an expert.
Elliot: Oh, really? Because you never went to assface school but you seem to be an expert at that.
J.D.: [In the bath] This is my first day off in weeks, nothing could make this better..except for crankin' up the Toto [sings] i miss the rains down in Afffrrricaaaa! [looks at body butter] Mango body butter? [goes to lick it]
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007 [J.D.'s hand is moving]
J.D.: I think there's something wrong with my spine, because I'm not doing that.
[After J.D. is assigned to introduce Dr. Kelso at an awarding ceremony]
Dr. Cox: You are officially trapped.
J.D.: I'll just say something nice about him that's actually true.
Dr. Cox: You go do that, and I'll go find God, quit drinking, get in touch with myself emotionally, and we'll meet right back here at half past impossible, mm'kay?
Dr. Kelso: This Friday, I am receiving an award from the A.M.A.--
Dr. Cox: Jerk-Off of the Year. No, Bastard of the Year! Uh, don't you tell me! Guy I Despise So Much, I'd Pay Someone To Kill Ya and Stuff Ya and Leave Ya by my Bed, So That When I Wake Up in the Morning, I Could Roll Over and Punch You in the Face...of the Year.
Dr. Kelso: Aaand we're back.
Dr. Cox: SooOOOO LindsZOOO...It must be fun to have the same name as that Lindsay Lohan...She's super cool! between you, me and that IV i've seen Confessions of A Teenage Drama Queen, oh i don't know, 3,4,5,6,7,8,9 times [scoffs]
• Vote for this Quote! • July 3rd, 2007