Scrubs Quotes (Page 8)
J.D.: Come on, man, it's our last week together! The J.D. and Cox train is pulling into the station. You must have a metaphor you want to use; hit me with it!
Dr. Cox: I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Let me see... low carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products, Hi-Def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hotspots, the OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys, Jeff that Wiggle that sleeps too darn much, the Yankees' payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, every-everything that exists, past, present, and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions! [pause] Oh, and Hugh Jackman.
J.D.: Hugh Jackman's Wolverine! How dare he?!
[later]
Dr. Cox: Newbie, do you want me give my "things I don't care about" speech again? Because I've updated it to all white guys who add -izzle to anything.
J.D.: I agrizzle, my nizzle.
The Todd: My friend, I am about to make you look very silly.
Dr. Kelso: Hey, it's Turkleton.
Turk: Sir, it's Turk.
Dr. Kelso: That's your first name.
Turk: You think my name is Turk Turkleton?
Dr. Kelso: And Mrs. Turkleton!! The Turkletons!! (as Carla walks up)
Janitor: Forks, Fran, forks.
J.D.: Are forks where the big money is?
Janitor: Forks and ladles.
Sean: Why are you messing with her head, J.D.?
Danni: Because he wants what he can't have.
J.D.: Okay, new rule! Hospitals are for doctors and sick people only!
J.D.: God, I wish we could go back in time and see that game.
Danni: Wanting what you can't have!
J.D.: Why are you here? Hospitals don't sell cigarettes!
Dr. Kelso: I need your opinion about something.
Dr. Cox: [without looking up] Yes Bob, those pants do make you look like you're holding water.
Dr. Kelso: Perry, I’ll tell you the same thing I told that comic I once saw in a strip club in Reno: I'm not here for the jokes.
J.D.: Guess it's just the two of us.
Danni: Do you wanna have sex?
J.D.: I guess.
[They start to take their clothes off.]
Danni: Do I have to look at you?
J.D.: Please don't.
Danni: Shut up!
[Turk and Carla shake their heads disapprovingly at Dr. Cox.]
Dr. Cox: Oh don't even start, Tarla or Curk or whatever you're calling this little two-headed judgmental freak show. Why don't I do a little piece for you I like to call, "Your First Year Of Marriage." "I do!" Oh, kiss kiss kiss! [imitating Carla's whine] "Why can't we have a baby!" [imitating Turk's talk] "Why you spendin' so much money on clothes!" "Why you sleepin' with my sister?" "Why can't I hang out with my peeps?" [explosion sound]
Turk: Baby.
Carla: Hmmm?
Turk: I would never sleep with your sister. She's hideous.
J.D.: Hey, do you wanna play darts?
Danni: Sure!
J.D.: OK great have fun I'll be over here!
Danni: Do you even enjoy spending time with me?
J.D.: "Enjoy" is such a strong word. I... I'm used to it! Y'know, like cafeteria food, or the constant threat of terrorism. But you don't enjoy hanging out with me, do you?
Danni: Not really. I'm more into tough guys, you know.
J.D.: Last night in bed I knocked you unconscious.
Danni: For like, five seconds!
