Seinfeld Quotes
George: I am not giving you my code.
Kramer: I'll bet I can guess it.
George: Yeah, right.
Kramer: Ah, all right, yeah... Let's see... Well, we can throw out birthdays immediately. That's too obvious. And no numbers for you, you're a word man. Let's go deeper... What kind of man are you? Well, you're weak, spineless, a man of temptation.
George: uh...
Kramer: But what tempts you? You're a portly fellow. A bit long in the waistband. So what's your pleasure? Is it the salty snacks you crave? No no no no... Yours is a sweet tooth.
George: I gotta go.
Kramer: Oh, you may stray, but you'll always return to your dark master... The cocoa bean! And only the purest syrup nectar can satisfy you. If you could, you'd guzzle it by the gallon... Ovaltine!? Hershey!? Nestle Quick!?"
George: [running away] Shut up!
George: I was free and clear. I was living the dream. I was stripped to the waist eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery.
Jerry: Before we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese with some sort of bachelor paradise.
Newman: [about Keith Hernandez] And then something happened that changed us in a very deep and profound way from that day forward.
Elaine: What? What happened?
Kramer: He spit on us.
Kramer: It's a write off for them.
Jerry: How is it a write off?
Kramer: They just write it off.
Jerry: Write it off what?
Kramer: Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything.
Jerry: You don't even know what a write off is.
Kramer: Do you?
Jerry: No. I Don't.
Kramer: But they do. And they're the ones writing it off.
Jerry: I wish I could have the last 20 seconds of my life back.
Kramer: At Brandt-Lealand, I'm gettin' things done.
Jerry: How much are they paying you?
Kramer: Oh no no no, I don't want any money, I'm doin' this just for me.
Jerry: Clearly... so, uh, what do you do down there all day?
Kramer: T.C.B. You know, takin' care of business. Well, I gotta go... ah, can't forget my briefcase.
Jerry: What have you got in there?
Kramer: Crackers.
Cedric: Why don't you want to wear the ribbon?
Kramer: Why should I?
Cedric: You have to, everyone is.
Kramer: That's why I don't want to.
Newman: I'm a little... insulted...
Jerry: You're not a little anything, Newman.
Newman: Let me let you in on a secret. Zip codes? They're meaningless.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 4th, 2007 Newman: I'm sorry, your invitation must have gotten ... lost in the mail!
Jackie Chiles: You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? I didn't tell you to put the balm on. Why'd you put the balm on? You haven't even been to see the doctor. If you're gonna put a balm on, let a doctor put a balm on.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 4th, 2007
