Seinfeld Quotes (Page 15)

Helllo .. Newman

George: Well, I'm sure at some point between the years 800 and 1200 somewhere there were two women living together.
Jerry: The point is I intend to undertake this. And I'll do it with or without you. So if you're scared, if you haven't got the stomach for this, let's get it out right now. And I'll go on my own. If not, you can get on board, and we can get to work. Now what's it gonna be?
George: All right, damn it, I'm in.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


George: Do you realize in the entire history of western civilization no one has successfully accomplished the roommate switch. In the Middle Ages you could get locked up for even suggesting it.
Jerry: They didn't have roommates in the Middle Ages.
George: How do you know?
Jerry: Well, for one thing they didn't have apartments.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


George: Well, if I hear you correctly, and I think that I do, my advice to you is to finish your meal, pay the check, leave here and never speak to anyone about this again.
Jerry: Can't be done, huh?
George: The switch?
Jerry: The switch.
George: Can't be done.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Jerry: Maybe you could have sex with her again and then take it back.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


George: [while having sex with his secretary] I'm giving you a raise!

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007



Jerry: You got no waist in that thing.
George: And your arms look like something in a kosher deli.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Secretary: As you can see my references are impeccable and I think I'd be a real asset here. My only concern is: I take care of my mother. Will there be many late nights?
George: I can't imagine any.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Bania: Oh, get the swordfish. Best swordfish in the city. The best, Jerry.
Jerry: I’ll have the salmon.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Kramer: She's hungry Jerry.
Jerry: Well there's nothing left. There's no food.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Jerry: Oh, no, it's Kenny. Slide out so he can't sit in.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


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Total Quotes: 499