Seinfeld Quotes (Page 2)
Elaine: David, I'm going to hell! The worst place in the world! With devils and those caves and the ragged clothing! And the heat! My god, the heat! I mean, what do you think about all that?
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 4th, 2007 Bernie Williams: We won the World Series!
George: Yeah... In 6 games!
Jerry: Oh, I know the chunky who left these chunkies... Newman!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 4th, 2007 Jerry: See, to me, that button is in the worst possible spot.
George: Really?
Jerry: Oh yeah. The second button is the key button. It literally makes or breaks the shirt. Look at it, it's too high, it's in no-man's land.
George: Haven't we had this conversation before?
Jerry: You think?
George: I think we have.
Jerry: Yeah, maybe we have.
Jerry: What are you in for, sir?
Prisoner: Murder one.
Jerry: Murder one? Ooooh, watch out everybody. Better be nice to you. I'm only kidding sir. Lighten up. How about you, what are you in for?
Prisoner: Grand theft auto.
Jerry: Grand theft auto? Don't steal any of my jokes.
Prisoner: You suck. I'm gonna cut you.
Jerry: Hey, I don't come down to where you work and knock the license plate out of your hand.
Guard: Alright, Seinfeld, that's it. Let's go. Come on.
Jerry: Alright. Hey, you've been great! See you in the cafeteria!
Jerry: So what is the deal with the yard? I mean when I was a kid my mother wanted me to play in the yard. But of course she didn't have to worry about my next door neighbor Tommy sticking a shiv in my thigh. And what's with the lockdown? Why do we have to be locked in our cells? Are we that bad that we have to be sent to prison, in prison? You would think the weightlifting and the sodomy is enough. So, anyone from Cellblock D?
• Rating 4.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 4th, 2007Kramer: [on the phone] Hey, I'm on 1st and 1st. How can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 4th, 2007 Jerry's Maid: There's a girl down at the agency her name is Coco. That girl's alright.
George: Another Coco, there can't be another Coco, Krueger would never allow it.
Jerry: Sounds like Krueger runs a pretty tight ship.
Elaine: I don't have a fax machine.
Kramer: You might. There's tons of stuff in my apartment I don't even know about.
Elaine: Then maybe you have a fax machine.
Kramer: You just blew my mind.
Jerry: What's that? Double zero?
George: No, its oo, as in oo-oo-ah-ah.