The Biggest Douche in the Universe Quotes
Cartman: Hey, guys! How's it goin'?
Chef: …Cartman?
Stan: No, that's Kenny.
Cartman: What the hell are you assholes doing here?
Stan: That's Cartman.
Stan: You are so a douche! I'm nominating you for biggest douche in the universe award, you douche!
• Vote for this Quote! • September 3rd, 2007TV Announcer: Rob Schneider was an animal. Then he was a woman. And now Rob Schneider is... a stapler! And he's about to find out that being a stapler is harder than it looks. Rob Schneider is… "The Stapler". Rated PG-13.
• Vote for this Quote! • September 3rd, 2007 John Edward: You better not call me a liar, a fake, or a douche, or else I'll sue you for slander!
Stan: I am saying this to you, John Edward. You are a liar. You are a fake. And you are the biggest douche ever.
John Edward: Everything I tell people is positive and gives them hope! How does that make me a douche?
Stan: Because the big questions in life are tough; Why are we here? Where are we from? Where are we going? But as long as people believe in asshole douchey liars like you, we're never going to find the answers to those questions. You aren't just lying, you're slowing down the progress of all mankind, YOU DOUCHE!
John Edward: But, I'm a psychic.
Stan: No, dude. You're a douche.
John Edward: I'm not a douche. What if I really believed dead people talk to me?
Stan: Then, you're a stupid douche.
