South Park Quotes (Page 14)
Gooback: (with difficulty) Er, this? (points to the chicken sandwich sign)
Stan: No, not a chicken sandwich! I WANT A GODDAMN CHEESEBURGER AND SOME GODDAMN FRIES, YOU FUCKING GOOBACKS!
Cartman: Hel-lo ma'am. We're going around town and offering snow-shoveling service. Would you like your driveway and sidewalk shoveled for eight thousand dollars?
Woman: Oh well, I certainly could use some little snow-shovelers, but eight thousand dollars seems a little steep. How about ten dollars?
Cartman: Ooh, ouch, ma'am, please, let go of that tight grip you have on my balls! Ten dollars, you're breaking my balls, ma'am!
News Reporter: Aaron, I'm standing at the Time Portal, which scientists say follows Terminator rules, that is it's one way only and you can't go back. This is in contrast to say, Back to the Future rules, where back and forth is possible, and of course Timerider rules which are just plain silly.
• Vote for this Quote! • September 7th, 2007 Cartman: Mr Jefferson, I wish I could be around you all the time. You're awesome.
Mr. Jefferson: I think you're awesome too, Cartman.
Cartman: Yeah?
Mr. Jefferson: Yeah.
Cartman: Yeah?
Mr. Jefferson: Yeah.
Cartman: Yeah? (they move in for a kiss)
Stan: (waking up) AAAAGGGGHHHH!! (looks round to see Cartman asleep and facing the ceiling and not Mr. Jefferson)
Mr. Jefferson: (opens his eyes) What's the matter, Stan? You have a bad dream?
Stan: Yeah, a REALLY bad dream. (shuts his eyes) Oh Jesus...
Mr. Jefferson: It's ignorant!
Mr. Jefferson: Hee Hee!
Mr. Jefferson: Shamon!
Cartman: Well excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck on my fat hairy balls!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • September 7th, 2007 Stan: But that isn't the point, Butters, the point is that this is NOW! It's on, and there are people who need you to step up. Look, nobody likes having to rise to a challenge, but competing against other people and getting in their faces (points at Butters) and saying "Ha ha, I'm better than you" is part of life. And if you can't face that, then you might as well sit here playing with lego until you're an old man.
Butters: (dangerously) Get out of my room, Stan.
Stan (moving to the door) fine. (opens the door) But one day you're gonna have to stop running from what happened and deal with it, otherwise (points to Butters) you might as well move to France with all the other pussies. (leaves Butters's room. Butters tries to continue with his lego, but gets frustrated and slams it onto his floor in a temper).
Stan: Hey kid, you're pretty good. How would you like to join our dance troupe?
Yao: You mean dancing with out a machine telling you what to do?
Stan: Yeah.
Yao: That's stupid.
Sharon Marsh: Well, Randy, that was some great advice you gave our son yesterday.
Randy Marsh: What?
Sharon: Those kids showed up to serve Stan again, and he danced back.
Randy: Well, what happened?
Sharon: It's on.
Rabbi: And now, one of our fine young shlokas, Kyle Broflovski, has asked if he could speak to the congregation.
Kyle: Thank you, Rabbi. In 1973, the United States officially issued an apology to the African-American community for slavery. In 1956, Germany officially apologized for World War II AND the Holocaust. And now, I believe, in 2004, the Jewish community needs to apologize for the death of Jesus.