South Park Quotes (Page 22)
Principal Victoria: Will you people stop barging into my office, please?
Josh: What's the matter Principal Victoria? Was your mother abusive? Did she spank your thighs with cold cuts and stick umbrellas up your ass?
Josh: Tell me something first. When you went to the academy you had something to prove—you wanted to protect and serve but mostly you just wanted to protect yourself. Who were you protecting yourself from, Officer Barbrady?
Officer Barbrady: Alright! Alright! My uncle Charles used to hit me with a belt!
Kyle: Ow! What the hell are you doing, Cartman?
Cartman: I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.
Grocery Clerk: You know, son, I remember you coming in last week and buying this much toilet paper.
Cartman: Oh yeah, that's right.
Grocery Clerk: Toilet paper, toilet paper...
Kyle: You TP'd a house last week, Cartman?
Cartman: No, last Thursday night was Fajitas night.
Kyle: Oh… Awww!
Grocery Clerk: Hey, hey… now you kids be careful with this chewing gum, don't go sticking it under tables.
• Vote for this Quote! • September 4th, 2007Santa: Christmas is a very special time of year, but…this year it almost didn't happen. There's a man named Jesus who gave his life to save me. And so I declare that every year on Christmas Day. we should remember Jesus for what he did, and thank him for it. From now on, Christmas will be a day for remembering a brave man named Jesus.
• Vote for this Quote! • September 3rd, 2007Santa:I just couldn't do it. (camera flashes onto dead Iraqi) I couldn't let him live. He shocked Santa's balls!
• Vote for this Quote! • September 3rd, 2007 Santa: [to an Iraqi] I'm gonna f**king kill you!
Iraqi: You're not in the position to kill anyone, I just want you to tell me America's plan.
Santa: Then we're in for a long night, cause I don't know s**t!
Butters:All he ever does is watch "Becker"; and that show is so stupid.
• Vote for this Quote! • September 3rd, 2007Cartman: Have you seen the poop swatches?
• Vote for this Quote! • September 3rd, 2007