South Park Quotes (Page 23)
Butters: Ooh, are we off on an adventure?
• Vote for this Quote! • September 3rd, 2007 Butters: Wait right here Stan, I warn you. You may not like what you see.
[Butters goes into the closet.]
Stan: We have to teach our parents a lesson. Show them they can't play with our emotions like that.
[Butters comes out of the closet, dressed as becomes Professor Chaos]
Butters: Ha ha ha ha ha. Now you know my terrible secret.
Stan: You're gay? It's fine if you're gay Butters, I don't care.
Butters: Huh? But I'm Professor Chaos!
Cartman: Hey, guys! How's it goin'?
Chef: …Cartman?
Stan: No, that's Kenny.
Cartman: What the hell are you assholes doing here?
Stan: That's Cartman.
Stan: You are so a douche! I'm nominating you for biggest douche in the universe award, you douche!
• Vote for this Quote! • September 3rd, 2007TV Announcer: Rob Schneider was an animal. Then he was a woman. And now Rob Schneider is... a stapler! And he's about to find out that being a stapler is harder than it looks. Rob Schneider is… "The Stapler". Rated PG-13.
• Vote for this Quote! • September 3rd, 2007 John Edward: You better not call me a liar, a fake, or a douche, or else I'll sue you for slander!
Stan: I am saying this to you, John Edward. You are a liar. You are a fake. And you are the biggest douche ever.
John Edward: Everything I tell people is positive and gives them hope! How does that make me a douche?
Stan: Because the big questions in life are tough; Why are we here? Where are we from? Where are we going? But as long as people believe in asshole douchey liars like you, we're never going to find the answers to those questions. You aren't just lying, you're slowing down the progress of all mankind, YOU DOUCHE!
John Edward: But, I'm a psychic.
Stan: No, dude. You're a douche.
John Edward: I'm not a douche. What if I really believed dead people talk to me?
Stan: Then, you're a stupid douche.
Tour Guide: Now you boys have probably called this young man names like "tubby", or "lard butt" or "fat tits"...
Kyle: Ooh, fat tits, that's a good one.
Stan: Yeah, we'll have to remember that.
Cartman: Tolerance kicks ass!
[Everyone laughs.]
Randy Marsh: That's our Cartman.
Cartman: I'll take three lunches today, please.
Chef: You don't need three lunches, Eric! You're fat enough as it is!
Cartman: It is my life choice, Chef, and if you don't tolerate it I'll report you to the SEC.