South Park Quotes (Page 24)
Cartman: I'm not fat, I have a different life choice.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • September 3rd, 2007 Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just throw a paper airplane?
Cartman: No, it was Kenny!
Mr. Garrison: Very funny, Eric. Kenny's dead!
Mr. Garrison: I was informed that fourth-graders are a little too old for Mr. Hat.
Kyle: TWO-year-olds are too old for Mr. Hat!
Mr. Garrison: But it's okay because I found a new teacher's assistant. Say hello to... Mr. Slave.
Mr. Slave: Hi kids. Hm.
Mr. Garrison: So that's Mr. Slave. The teacher's assistant. Or, as I like to write for short, the Teacher's Ass.
Cartman: (whispering to Craig) Yo, I think that Mr. Slave guy's a... Pakistani.
Mr. Black: Alright Token, we know you must be very confused about what you saw.
Mr. Marsh: Yes, uh, you see Token, that was called a pornographic film. It shows adult men and adult women having sexual intercourse. Well, you, you see, when a man and a woman fall in love, the man puts his penis in the woman's vagina. It's called love-making and it's part of being in love.
Token: And when the woman has four penises in her at the same time, then stands over the men and pees on them, is that part of being in love, too? Five midgets, spanking a man covered in thousand island dressing... is that making love?
Mr. Black: Jesus, what kind of porno was that?
Mr. Brofloski: It was Backdoor Sluts 9.
Mr. Black: Oh, Jesus, not that one!
Mr. Brofloski and Mr. Scotch: Backdoor Sluts 9!!!!
Mrs. Stotch: What's that?
Mr. Stotch: Honey, Backdoor Sluts 9 makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2!
Mr. Brofloski: It is the single most disgusting, twisted piece of porn ever made.
Mrs. Brofloski: [slapping Gerald] And how would you know?!
Mr. Brofloski: I...uh... read about it in People.
Cartman: I've never heard the words "only" and "candy" in the same sentence before.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • September 3rd, 2007 Cartman: Maybe the reason we're not getting to heaven is because one of us is a J-O-O.
Kyle: What does my being Jewish have to do with us not getting into Heaven?
Alan Jackson: (in a voice sounding more high pitched than his singing voice) You little bastards ruined my latest song! [smashes guitar]
• Vote for this Quote! • September 3rd, 2007Mr. Garrison: A ladder to heaven? That's f**king stupid!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • September 3rd, 2007News Reporter: And so, the residents of Manhattan are prepared to evacuate, if Ms. Clinton's ass gets any bigger.
• Vote for this Quote! • September 3rd, 2007