South Park Quotes (Page 3)
Randy: Oh, alright, I'd like to solve the puzzle. Niggers!
• Vote for this Quote! • September 11th, 2007Dr. Doctor: That kid's got as much hope as Steve Irwin in a tank full of stingrays.
• Vote for this Quote! • September 10th, 2007Randy Marsh: Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • September 10th, 2007County official: Stan Marsh is a bright young man. He's got a great family, a promising paper route. Only problem is...[record scratch]...his bike's been impounded! But now, he's about to find out that getting his bike back isn't so easy!
• Vote for this Quote! • September 10th, 2007Eric Cartman: Suck my balls K-10, I'm not in the mood
• Vote for this Quote! • September 10th, 2007 Ms. Garrison: Now, I for one think that evolution is a bunch of BULL CRAP, but I'm told I have to teach it anyway. [speaking of evolution] It was thought up by Charles Darwin and it goes something like this. In the beginning we were all fish, okay, swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live. So retard fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its...mutant fish hands...and it had butt sex with a squirrel or something, and made this...retard fish-squirrel...and then that had a retard baby which was a monkey-fish-frog...and then this monkey-fish-frog had butt sex with that monkey...that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey wearing a and...that made you. So there you go. You're the RETARDED OFFSPRING OF FIVE MONKEYS HAVING BUTT-SEX WITH A FISH-SQUIRREL Congratulations!
Cartman: AHHHH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! [runs of screaming]
Ms. Garrison: See, I knew that would happen.
Kyle: [to Cartman] Yeah, I hate you, but I'm not going to help kill you!
Cartman: I thought you were my friends! I guess I was wrong! After all we've been through together, you guys won't even help me freeze myself.
Satan: (having been told his guests don't care about the Acura cake) IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM! IT'S ALL ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
Satan's minion: Wow, what a jerk!
Satan's minion: Satan, we have a problem.
Satan: What?
Satan's minion: One of the guests has turned up in a crocodile hunter costume, and it's really offending some of the other guests!
Satan: Oh jeez (Walks across the party to a guest in a crocodile hunter outfit) Erm, er, dude, the whole crocodile hunter thing, it's just not cool. He like only died a few weeks ago! You're gonna have to go.
Steve Irwin: But Satan it's me, Steve Irwin! I am the crocodile hunter!
Satan: Oh, oh. Then no costume, man, you gotta leave!
Steve Irwin: (Being dragged away) Wait! I thought we were friends!
Cartman As The Dawg: HALLPASS, SHOW ME YOUR HALLPASS!
Kid: What?
[Cartman slams kid up against the lockers pining him in the process.]
Cartman As The Dawg: YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?!
[Holds up the bear mace for the kid to see.]
Cartman As The Dawg: THIS IS THE MACE THEY USE ON BEARS, FAGGOT! NOW LET ME SEE YOUR HALLPASS!
Kid: [holds up hallpass] It's right here.
Cartman As The Dawg: Alright, cool bra. Go with Christ.
[Cartman starts to walk away.]
Kid: What, you can't just push me up against tha…
[Cartman kicks the kid, sending him flying off screen.]
