South Park Quotes (Page 45)
Kyle: You know, I've learned something today. Family isn't about whose blood you have, it's about who you care about. And that's why I feel like you guys are more than just friends. You're my family. Except for Cartman.
Stan: Naturally.
Cartman: Screw you guys! I don't wanna be in your penis-chopping family anyway!
Dr. Schwartz: We're not going to cut it off! We're just going to snip it to make it bigger.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 30th, 2007Cartman: Dude, that is not cool! Chopping off wee-wees is not cool!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 30th, 2007 Cartman: For my book report, I read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. It was very very good. Have you read it, Mr. Garrison?
Mr. Garrison: No, I can't say that I have.
Cartman: Oh, good. In The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, a bunch of uh, hippies, walk around and paint stuff. They eat lunch, and then they find a magical... camel, which they have to eat to stay alive. And that's pretty much it. I give it a 'B-.'
Cartman: AY! I am a cop, and you will respect my authoritah!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 30th, 2007Officer Barbrady: Yes, at first I was happy to be learning how to read. It seemed exciting and magical, but then I read this: Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand. I read every last word of this garbage, and because of this piece of s**t, I am never reading again.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 30th, 2007Officer Barbarady:Um, It says, uh, "Sorry I had sex with the chicken! I won't do it again, bye-bye!" Well, there you have it, case closed!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 30th, 2007 Scott: What are you two idiots doing?
Terrance: We're searching for treasure.
Scott: Is that some kind of metaphor for a kind of search that can't be described?
Phillip: ...No, we're searching for treasure.
Scott:I hate you both and I wish you had cancer!
Phillip: Cancer?
Scott: Yes, in the head.
Terrance: Head cancer?
Scott: Terrance, you may be a famous surgeon, but you're not God! J'accuse, Terrance!
Terrance: Would you like a monkey claw, Phillip?
Phillip: Yes please. [Terrance farts]
Terrance: That's called the Monkey Claw because it feels like my colon is being ripped apart by a thousand monkeys!
Phillip: The Monkey Claw is smelly.