The Convict Quotes
Michael: Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What's he wearing? Nothing special. Baseball cap on backwards. Baggy pants. He says something ordinary, like 'Yo, that's shizzle.' Okay, now slowly open your eyes again. Who were you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you.
• Rating 4.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007Pam: Kinda sounds like prison is better than Dunder Mifflin.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Jim: Quick question — do you play the guitar?
Andy: I play the banjo.
Jim: Hold on, let me think about that...yes, that'll work. But can you sing in a sexy high falsetto voice?
Andy: [singing] You know I can, my man.
Jim: [giving "advice" to Andy about Pam] She loves hunting. She also loves the ads for Six Flags, with the old guy. Also, do you speak pig latin?
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007Kevin: I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for, because...it sounds an awful lot like what I do here...every day.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007Dwight: I am greatly concerned about having a convict in the office. And I do not care if that convict is white, black, Asian, German, or some kind of halfsy. I do not like criminals.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007Michael: Why did the convict have to be a black guy? It is such a stereotype. I just wish Josh had made a more progressive choice. Like a white guy. Who went to prison for...polluting a black guy's lake.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007Michael: I didn't hire an ex-convict. Unless they mean Toby. Convicted rapist.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Jim: [picking up phone] Jim Halpert.
Andy: I am so horny.
Jim: Okay, I can't help you with that.
Andy: Oh, I think you can, Big Tuna. Tell me about that Indian chick, Kelly. She seems pretty slutty. Good for a romp in the sack.
Jim: She is dating Ryan, I think.
Andy: Oh, and I care why?
Jim: She's high-maintenance.
Andy: Next. How about...[sees Meredith walk by] Angela. Blondes are more fun. C'mon, trust me on that.
Jim: Yeah, trust me, that would be fun for no one.