The Injury Quotes
Jim: I wanna clamp Michael's face in a George Foreman grill.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 26th, 2007 Toby: [watches Ryan as he takes a big bite from his string cheese] Wow, you just dive right in.
Ryan: You know, around age 12, I just started going for it.
Ryan: I ground up four extra-strength Aspirin and put them in Michael's pudding. I do the same with my dog to get him to take his heartworm medicine.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 26th, 2007Michael:I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me, and since I don't have a butler I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill, then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again, then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me, it's a perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill (shows burnt foot wrapped in bubble wrap) and it clamped down on my foot. That's it, I don't see what's so hard to believe about that.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 26th, 2007 Michael: Oh God, a minivan! What is Meredith's problem?
Jim: Uh, I think she has a kid.
Michael: Yeah she has one kid and no husband. She's not going to find one driving one of these things around!
Dwight: Where are we going?
Jim: [lying to get Dwight to the hospital] Chuck E. Cheese.
Michael: Chuck E. Cheese? Oh god, I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.
Jim: We're going to the hospital, Michael.
Michael: I know, but...still...
Michael: Dwight, put the bottle down or you're fired!
Dwight: You can't fire me! I don't work in this van!
Michael: Let me ask you something. How long does it take you to do something simple? Everyday. Like brushing your teeth in the morning.
Billy: [in a wheelchair] I dunno. Like thirty seconds.
Michael: Oh my God. That's three times as long as it takes me.
Kevin: [to Michael on phone] Can you hop?
Michael: I tried hopping, Kevin. I bumped my elbow against the wall and now my elbow has a protuberance.
Michael: Pam, will you rub butter on my foot?
Pam: No.
Michael: Please? I have Country Crock.