Women's Appreciation Quotes
Creed: I'm a pretty normal guy. I do one weird thing. I like to go in the women's room for number two. I've been caught several times, and I have paid dearly.
• Rating 2.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Michael: Cons. Wears too much makeup. Breasts — not anything to write home about. Insecure about body. I'm unhappy when I'm with her. Flat-chested.
Pam: What was the last one?
Michael: She's totally flat. Shrunken chesticles.
Michael: I like cuddling and spooning, and she likes... videotaping us during sex...
Pam: Oh my god!
Michael: ...and then watching it back right afterward to improve my form.
Karen: That is not healthy behavior.
Michael: No, it's not that bad. The worst part is that she shows it to her therapist and they discuss it.
Michael: What is a Pap smear? Or is it "schmear?" Like cream cheese.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Andy: I really appreciate you letting me work alongside you so closely today.
Dwight: Of course you do, moonface. That's because you're a preppy freak, you're the office pariah and nobody likes you.
Dwight: You know what? Why doesn't Oscar run the meeting? He's a homosexual.
Jim: Why don't you run the meeting? You play with dolls.
Dwight: Those are collectible action figures. And they're worth more than your car.
Michael: You know what? I am the expert. I will conduct it. I know the crap out of women.
Michael: If Pam wants to show more cleavage, she should be able to. I encourage that.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Dwight: I know what you're thinking. Won't that just shed more light on the penises? But that is a risk we have to take. Pam, you can draw, kind of, why don't you work with Phallus on drawing a picture of the exposer that I can post around the community.
Pam: Phallus?
Dwight: Phyllis, sorry. I've got penises on the brain.
Dwight: There are several penises there I'd love Phyllis to run her eyes over.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Jim: [picking up a ticket on his desk] What's this?
Dwight: That is a demerit.
Jim: "Jim Halpert, tardiness." Oh, I love it already.
Dwight: You've got to learn, Jim, you're second in command, but that does not put you above the law.
Jim: Oh I understand. And I also have lots of questions. Like what does a demerit mean?
Dwight: Let's put it this way. You do not want to receive three of those.
Jim: Lay it on me.
Dwight: Three demerits, and you'll receive a citation.
Jim: Now that sounds serious.
Dwight: Oh it is serious. Five citations, and you're looking at a violation. Four of those, and you'll receive a verbal warning. Keep it up, and you're looking at a written warning. Two of those, that'll land you in a world of hurt in the form of a disciplinary review, written up by me and placed on the desk of my immediate superior.
Jim: Which would be me.
Dwight: That...is correct.
Jim: Okay, I want a copy on my desk by the end of the day or you will receive a full disadulation.
Dwight: What's a dis...what's that?
Jim: Oh, you don’t want to know.
[Dwight is scared]