The Office Quotes (Page 10)
Michael: [after being asked to interview for a corporate position] I wish I had prepared something to say.
David: That's not necessary.
Michael: May God guide you in your quest.
David: ...Yes.
Michael: It was never my intention to ruin a life. But you know what? Sometimes, you just gots to get your freak on.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Creed: I'm a pretty normal guy. I do one weird thing. I like to go in the women's room for number two. I've been caught several times, and I have paid dearly.
• Rating 2.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Michael: Cons. Wears too much makeup. Breasts — not anything to write home about. Insecure about body. I'm unhappy when I'm with her. Flat-chested.
Pam: What was the last one?
Michael: She's totally flat. Shrunken chesticles.
Michael: I like cuddling and spooning, and she likes... videotaping us during sex...
Pam: Oh my god!
Michael: ...and then watching it back right afterward to improve my form.
Karen: That is not healthy behavior.
Michael: No, it's not that bad. The worst part is that she shows it to her therapist and they discuss it.
Michael: What is a Pap smear? Or is it "schmear?" Like cream cheese.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Andy: I really appreciate you letting me work alongside you so closely today.
Dwight: Of course you do, moonface. That's because you're a preppy freak, you're the office pariah and nobody likes you.
Dwight: You know what? Why doesn't Oscar run the meeting? He's a homosexual.
Jim: Why don't you run the meeting? You play with dolls.
Dwight: Those are collectible action figures. And they're worth more than your car.
Michael: You know what? I am the expert. I will conduct it. I know the crap out of women.
Michael: If Pam wants to show more cleavage, she should be able to. I encourage that.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Dwight: I know what you're thinking. Won't that just shed more light on the penises? But that is a risk we have to take. Pam, you can draw, kind of, why don't you work with Phallus on drawing a picture of the exposer that I can post around the community.
Pam: Phallus?
Dwight: Phyllis, sorry. I've got penises on the brain.