The Office Quotes (Page 12)
Michael: Mrs. Allen is our most important client. Because every client is our most important client. Even though she’s a pretty unimportant client really.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Dwight: I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat, couple of pigs watching. Whoever did this watermark got it exactly right.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Dwight: Here are your credentials. You’ve been granted Level 3 security clearance. Don’t get too excited…that’s out of 20.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Creed: The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive...like I did when I was a homeless man.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Michael: Here’s the thing, when a company screws up, best thing to do is call a press conference. Alert the media, and then you control the story. Wait for them to find out, and the story controls you. That’s what happened to O.J.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Andy: William Doolittle at your service. A.K.A. Will Do.
Jim: Yeah, I'm definitely going to go alone.
Michael: No, no, I need two men on this. That's what she said. No time! But she did. NO TIME!
Michael: We have a lot of angry customers out there. This puts us at Threat Level: Midnight.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Creed: Every week, I'm supposed to take four hours and do a quality spot-check at the paper mill. And of course the one year I blow it off, this happens.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Michael: We have a crisis. Apparently a disgruntled employee at the paper mill decided that it would be funny to put an obscene watermark on our 24-pound cream letter stock. 500 boxes have gone out with the image of a beloved cartoon duck performing...unspeakable acts...upon a certain cartoon mouse that a lot of people like. I've never been a fan.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Jim: [dressed up as Dwight] Question: What kind of bear is best?
Dwight: That's a ridiculous question.
Jim: False. Black bear.
Dwight: That's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought...
Jim: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
Dwight: Bears do not...what is going on? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! [pause] Well, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so I thank you.
[Jim pulls out a bobblehead from the briefcase and puts it on his desk]
Dwight: Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!
Jim: Michael!
Dwight: Oh, that's funny. Michael!
