The Office Quotes (Page 14)
Michael: You give me a good raise, or no more sex... [to Toby] What are you writing, pervball?
Toby: Just uh, preparing for the deposition. [to camera] This may be the first time that a male subordinate has attempted to get a modest scheduled raise by withholding sex from a female superior. It will be a ground-breaking case, when it inevitably goes to trial.
Michael: Every year, I get a $100 gas card. Can't put a price tag on that!
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Michael: There were these huge bins of clothes. And everybody was rifling through them like crazy. And I grabbed one. And it fit. So I don't think that this is totally just a woman's suit. At the very least, it's bisexual.
• Rating 4.3 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Toby: I don't think Michael intended to punish me by putting Ryan back here with Kelly. But, if he did intend that...wow. Genius.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Jim: I guess, all things considered, I was lucky Dwight was there. And Roy was lucky that Dwight only used pepper spray, and not the nunchucks or the throwing stars.
• Rating 2.8 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Michael: No need for consternation. Everything is under control.
Jan: Michael, last Friday one of your employees attacked another employee in your office!
Michael: It was a crime of passion, Jan. Not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.
Dwight: No, don't call me a hero. Do you know who the real heroes are? The guys who wake up every morning and go into their normal jobs, and get a distress call from the commissioner, and take off their glasses and change into capes, and fly around fighting crime. Those are the real heroes.
• Rating 4.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Roy: Halpert!
[Roy charges at Jim, but Dwight sprays him with pepper spray. Everyone in the office is blinded]
Dwight: Pam, please call security! [talking to camera in tears] Every day, for eight years, I have brought pepper spray into this office to protect myself and my fellow employees. And every day, for eight years, people have laughed at me. Well, who's laughing now?
Michael: Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Roy: I'm gonna kill Jim Halpert.
• Rating 2.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007