The Office Quotes (Page 15)
Michael: Our first fight. If this is about what happened in the bathroom, there was no place to cuddle.
Jan: I feel sick.
Michael: You didn't have any of the potato salad, did you?
Jan: You know, we were good when we were just running around, you know? In secret, it was wrong, and it was exciting, and maybe it was a mistake to take it public.
Michael: [choking up] Well, if that's the way you feel, my lady, then you have hurt me greatly.
Jan: Michael, please don't cry.
Michael: I want the house, Jan. I want the picket fence, I want the ketchup fights, and the tickling and the giggling.
Michael: Why are we going in the bathroom? I thought this is where you liked your privacy.
Jan: Shut up.
Jan: It releases the company in the event that our relationship in your opinion or in reality interferes with work. You get a copy, I get a copy, and a third copy goes to HR.
Michael: Awesome. I'm going to frame mine. I could frame yours, too.
Jan: You realize this is a legal document that says you can't sue the company?
Michael: Over our love.
Jan: I never told you that I love you.
Michael: You don't have to, Jan. This contract says it all.
Dwight: Oh you know that line on the top of the shrimp? That's feces.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Michael: [on his potato salad] It's been sitting in my car all day. Sun beating down on the mayonnaise...just...you never know.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Jan: I am taking a calculated risk. What's the upside? I overcome my nausea, fall deeply in love, babies, normalcy, no more self-loathing. Downside...I date Michael Scott publicly and collapse in on myself like a dying star.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Michael: Pam, would you smell my breath?
Pam: No, no.
Dwight: Let me smell.
[Dwight puts his face very close to Michael's mouth, who exhales]
Dwight: Good, not great.
Jim: Why I don't want to go? Didn't expect to need a reason, so let me think here... I don't know any of these people. It's an obligation. I don't like talking paper in my free time...or in my work time...and...did I use the word "pointless?"
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Michael: Tonight is so special because my boss' boss' boss, the CFO — not his initials, common mistake — is having a little shindig for all the managers in the company, and Jan and I are going as a couple for the first time. So it's kind of our coming out party, really. And that is why tonight is so special.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Dwight: I dont have much experience with vampires. I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time i got to it, it had turned back into my neighbors dog.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007
