The Office Quotes (Page 16)

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Michael Scott

Michael: Ryan has never made a sale. And he started a fire trying to make a cheesy pita. And everybody thinks he's a tease.

  • Rating 4.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Pam: [emotional because no one besides Michael has come to her art show, she hugs him] ...Do you have something in your pocket?
Michael: A Chunky. [Pam's eyes widen until Michael reveals he has an actual candy bar in his pocket]

  • Rating 3.8 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Michael: There are four kinds of business. Tourism. Food service. Railroads. And sales. And hospitals/manufacturing. And air travel.

  • Rating 4.4 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Dwight: If a vampire bat was in the U.S., it would make sense for it to come to a “-sylvania.” Like Pennsylvania.

  • Rating 3.2 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Karen: Hey Jim, here's the aspirin you wanted.
Jim: Oh thank god. I have such a headache from the glare.
Karen: What glare?
Jim: The glare off Angela's crucifix - it's blinding.

  • Rating 3.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007



Dwight: Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, "Would an idiot do that?" And if they would, I do not do that thing.

  • Rating 4.9 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Ryan: If you bring your boss to class, it automatically bumps you up a full letter grade. So I'd be stupid not to do it...right?

  • Rating 3.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Michael: A boss is like a teacher. And I am like the cool teacher. Like Mr. Handell. Mr. Handell would hang out with us. And he would tell us awesome jokes. And he actually hooked up with one of the students. Um, and then like twelve other kids came forward. It was in all the papers. Really ruined eighth grade for us.

  • Rating 4.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Michael: Phyllis and Bob -- their celebrity couple name would be "Phlob."

  • Rating 4.3 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Michael: My name is Michael Scott. Webster's Dictionary defines wedding as "the fusing of two metals with a hot torch." Well you know something? I think you guys are two metals - gold medals. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Michael Scott, Phyllis' boss. To quote from The Princess Bride: "mare-widge!"

  • Rating 4.5 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


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Total Quotes: 564