The Office Quotes (Page 24)
[Michael is lying behind the reception desk, we only see his legs sticking out from it.]
Michael: It hurts my heart. It hurts my stomach. It hurts my arms.
Pam: Okay, well why are you laying like that?
Jim: It's a bold move to Photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael's a bold guy. [pause] Is bold the right word?
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Michael: Hey! I would like a nice slice of Christmas Pam. Side of candy Pams. And perhaps some Pam chops. With mint...
Pam: Can I help you, Michael?
Dwight: He was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat has a delicious smoky rich flavor. Plus, you can use the molten goose grease and save it in the refrigerator, thus saving you a trip to the store for a can of expensive goose grease.
Jim: Wow. Win-win.
Dwight: Exactly, thank you, Jim.
Phyllis: I like goose. If it's already dead, is it so crazy if we eat it?
Creed: That's crazy. It's crazy.
Dwight: [bringing in a dead goose] I accidentally ran over it. It's a Christmas miracle!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007Michael: Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What's he wearing? Nothing special. Baseball cap on backwards. Baggy pants. He says something ordinary, like 'Yo, that's shizzle.' Okay, now slowly open your eyes again. Who were you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007Pam: Kinda sounds like prison is better than Dunder Mifflin.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Jim: Quick question — do you play the guitar?
Andy: I play the banjo.
Jim: Hold on, let me think about that...yes, that'll work. But can you sing in a sexy high falsetto voice?
Andy: [singing] You know I can, my man.
Jim: [giving "advice" to Andy about Pam] She loves hunting. She also loves the ads for Six Flags, with the old guy. Also, do you speak pig latin?
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007Kevin: I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for, because...it sounds an awful lot like what I do here...every day.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007
