The Office Quotes (Page 44)
Dwight: Where are we going?
Jim: [lying to get Dwight to the hospital] Chuck E. Cheese.
Michael: Chuck E. Cheese? Oh god, I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.
Jim: We're going to the hospital, Michael.
Michael: I know, but...still...
Michael: Dwight, put the bottle down or you're fired!
Dwight: You can't fire me! I don't work in this van!
Michael: Let me ask you something. How long does it take you to do something simple? Everyday. Like brushing your teeth in the morning.
Billy: [in a wheelchair] I dunno. Like thirty seconds.
Michael: Oh my God. That's three times as long as it takes me.
Kevin: [to Michael on phone] Can you hop?
Michael: I tried hopping, Kevin. I bumped my elbow against the wall and now my elbow has a protuberance.
Michael: Pam, will you rub butter on my foot?
Pam: No.
Michael: Please? I have Country Crock.
Pam: Oh no. Dwight isn't my friend. ... [panicked] Oh my God! Dwight's kind of my friend.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 26th, 2007 Michael: What do I write under "reason for visit?"
Jim: Concussion. [Michael scratches something out] What'd you write?
Michael: ..."Bringing someone to the hospital."
Jim: Oh, you thought they meant your reason for visit.
Michael: No, you know what? This isn't about me anymore.
Michael: Dwight, what's your middle name?
Dwight: [Looking dazed] Danger.
Michael: Something with a 'K'.
Jim: It's Kurt. Wow, I'm so sad I know that.
Michael: The point is, I am the only one here with a legitimate disability, although I'm sure Stanley's had his fair share of obstacles.
Stanley: I'm not disabled, and neither are you.
Michael: Well what does this look like? [shows his bubble-wrap cast]
Stanley: Mailboxes Etc.?
Creed: I was in an iron lung when I was a teenager.
Michael: How old are you?
