The Office Quotes (Page 47)
Michael: Happy birthday Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 26th, 2007 Michael: You're the expert, is this enough to get 20 people plastered?
Store Clerk: 15 bottles of vodka? Yeah, that should do it.
Michael: Stupid corporate wet blankets...it's not like booze ever killed anyone.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 26th, 2007 Phyllis: Everyone, this is my boyfriend Bob.
Kevin: Kevin Malone.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Stanley: Stanley Hudson.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Ryan: Ryan Howard.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Ryan: What line of work you in, Bob?
Ryan: You still with Katie?
Jim: I have not really talked to her lately
Ryan: Do you mind if I give her a call?
Jim: We can talk about that later
Jim: My roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm making Dwight up. [pauses] He is very real.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007Michael: [on his approach to improv] Think about this, what is the most exciting thing that can happen on TV or in movies, or in real-life? Somebody has a gun. That's why I always start with a gun, because you can't top it. You just can't.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007Michael: There are certain things a boss does not share with his employees. His salary, that would depress them. His bed. And I am not going to tell them that I will be reading their emails.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007Dwight: I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the computerization of medical records. As a volunteer sheriff I can look up anyone's psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections...there are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we're downriver from that old bread factory...
• Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007 Jan: So are you still in the middle of the Performance Reviews then?
Michael: Oh, no no. I finished all of that. I'm very fast. I'm not too fast. Not like "Wam bam, thank you ma'am." But I do say "Thank you ma'am." Not like "Wam bam." Not that there's anything wrong with "Wam bam..." If it's consensual.
