The Office Quotes (Page 52)
Michael: Yes, I was the first one out. And yes, I’ve heard "women and children first". But, we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop, thankfully. And women are equal in the workplace by law. So if I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • April 19th, 2007 Dwight: FIRE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Phyllis: You say that every week.
Dwight: DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!
Oscar: Relax.
Dwight: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A BURN VICTIM!?
Dwight: Question. Where can I put my terrarium?
Michael: What the hell is a terrarium?
Dwight: It's a fish tank for snakes and lizards.
Michael: I’m an early bird and a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • April 19th, 2007Michael: Nobody likes beets, Dwight! Why don't you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • April 19th, 2007Dwight: I have been Michael’s number two guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We’re like one of those classic famous teams. He’s like Mozart and I’m like...Mozart's friend. No. I’m like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like...Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart, you’re gonna get a bullet in the head courtesy of Butch Cassidy.
• Vote for this Quote! • April 19th, 2007Dwight: Actually, I do own property. My grandfather left me a 60-acre working beet farm. I run it with my cousin Mose. We sell beets to the local stores and restaurants. It’s a nice little farm... sometimes teenagers use it for sex.
• Vote for this Quote! • April 19th, 2007Dwight: A 30-year mortgage at Michael’s age essentially means that he’s buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so I couldn’t hear the other dead people.
• Vote for this Quote! • April 19th, 2007Dwight: Thank God. It was nice of him to offer, but I live in a 9-bedroom farmhouse. I have my own crossbow range. It’s the perfect situation for me. Although the two bathrooms would have been nice. We just have the one... and it's under the porch.
• Vote for this Quote! • April 19th, 2007Jim: Who has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? [points his thumbs at himself] This guy!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • April 19th, 2007