The Office Quotes (Page 8)
Pam: I haven't heard anything, but I bet Jim got the job. I mean, why wouldn't he? He's totally qualified, and smart, everyone loves him. And if he never comes back again, that's okay. We're friends. And I'm sure we'll stay friends. We just...we never got the timing right, you know? I shot him down and then he did the same to me, but you know what? It's okay. I am totally fine. Everything is going to be totally...
[Jim walks in on interview]
Jim: Pam. [to camera] Sorry. [to Pam] Um, are you free for dinner tonight?
Pam: Yes.
Jim: All right. Then it's a date.
[Jim leaves. Pam smiles and tears up]
Pam: I'm sorry, what was the question?
Dwight: When you have done something good, you will receive one Schrute buck. One thousand Schrute bucks equals an extra five minutes for lunch.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Pam: So you would be the regional manager and the assistant regional manager, Andy is your number two, I would be the secret assistant regional manager.
Dwight: Mmm, let's call it secret assistant to the regional manager.
Pam: Mm-hm.
Dwight: Do you accept?
Pam: Absolutely I do.
Andy: I am a great interviewee. Why? Because I have something no one else has: my brain. Which I use to my advantage when advantageous.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Dwight: Don’t you want to earn Schrute bucks?
Stanley: No. In fact, I’ll give you a billion Stanley nickels if you never talk to me again.
Dwight: What’s the ratio of Stanley nickels to Schrute bucks?
Stanley: The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.
Dwight: Once I'm officially regional manager, my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. So I will need a new number two. My ideal choice? Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable. Fictional. And overqualified.
• Rating 4.8 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Dwight: Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check in time now. Check out time is never.
Jim: Does my room have cable?
Dwight: No, and the sheets are made of fire!
Jim: Can I change rooms?
Dwight: No, we're all booked up. Hell convention in town!
Jim: Can I have a late check out?
[pauses]
Dwight: I'll have to talk to the manager.
Jim: You're not the manager...even in your own fantasy?
Dwight: I'm the owner....co-owner. With Satan!
Jim: Okay, just so I understand it...in your wildest fantasy, you are in hell. And you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil.
Dwight: But I haven't told you my salary.
Jim: Go.
Dwight: Eighty thousand dollars a year!
Creed: www.creedthoughts.gov.www\creedthoughts. Check it out.
[cut to Ryan]
Ryan: Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed's brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top. I've read some of it. Even for the Internet, it's...pretty shocking.
Pam: Um, about the beach...
Karen: It's okay. We all say things without thinking.
Pam: Oh no, it's not that. I've actually been thinking that for a long time and I'm glad I said it. I just...I'm sorry if it made you feel weird.
Karen: Oh, okay.
[cut to interview]
Karen: Pam is...kind of a bitch.
Michael: Please hand this letter of congratulations to Dwight K. Schrute.
Dwight: But that's my name. [reads letter] "Dwight, congratulations, a-wipe. Don't screw the pooch."
