Brawl in the Family Quotes
Lisa: Dad's on the log. Now Mom, you get the car and pull them to safety.
Marge: [Marge runs toward the car, but trips on a tree root] Oh, my driving ankle! Bart, I know this sounds crazy, but do you think you can drive a car?
Bart: [innocently] Okay, but it's my first time.
Marge: Here's the keys. [hands him the keys]
Bart: I got a set.
Homer: Okay, Gabriel, this is a bar. It's where I go to drink alcohol, which is the mortal equivalent of your ambrosia.
Gabriel: Homer, I am not an angel.
Homer: Pfft. Well not with that temper.
[later]
Homer: [drunk] Look, the think about my family is, there's five of us: Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him. [falls off the barstool]
Lisa: [in jail] Thanks a lot, everybody. Now, I'll never get into an Ivy League school.
Bart: [taunting] You're going to Stanford, you're going to Stanford ...[Homer joins in]
Homer and Bart: You're going to Stanford! You're going to Stanford!
Lisa: Take it back! Take it back!
Homer:
Cop: [Monopoly hat piece crashes through the window] Another case of Monopoly related violence, sir?
Wiggum: Yeah, don't those Parker brothers ever get any sleep at night? We best send in the Negotia-bot.
Brenda: [a female looking police robot enters the simpson house] I am Brenda. I am programmed to talk in a calm and constructive manner -- DESTROY! DESTROY! [wraps the whole family up in a white substance, which turns out to be taffy, and drags them outside]
Wiggum: Nice work, Brenda. I'll take it from here.
Brenda: No way! This is my collar! [Wiggum switches off Brenda's power switch; Brenda shuts down]
Wiggum: Too bad real women don't come with these, huh? [laughs]
Homer: You got that right.
Wiggum: Quiet, you. That counts as your phone call.
Marge: We don't need TV to have family fun. Why don't we play Monopoly?
Lisa: [walking to the closet where the board games are kept]Which version? [flips through different versions] We've got "Star Wars" Monopoly, Rasta-Mon-Opoly, Galip-Olopoly Edna Krabappoly ...
Marge: Let's stick to original Monopoly. The game's crazy enough as it is. [holds up one of the playing pieces] How can an iron be a landlord?
Homer: A grizzly bear with a chainsaw -- now, there's a killing machine!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 29th, 2007