Cape Feare Quotes
Lisa: Bart, I figured it out! Who's someone you've been making irritating phone calls to?
Bart: Linda Lavin?
Lisa: No, someone who didn't deserve it!
Homer: Hey kids, wanna drive through that cactus patch?
Bart: Yeah!
Lisa: Yeah!
Bob: [under the car] No!
Homer: Oh, two against one!
[Marge, Lisa, Homer and Maggie are tied up to the mast, Homer is laying there on the floor asleep drooling on the floor.]
Lisa: Oh no, Dad's been drugged!
Marge: [irritated] No he hasn't.
Bart: [pointing to Bob] Take him away, boys.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, I'm the chief here! Bake him away, toys.
Lou: Uh, what'd you say, Chief?
Chief Wiggum: ...Just do what the kid says.
Bart: You wrote me those letters!
Marge: You awful man. Stay away from my son!
Sideshow Bob: Oh I'll stay away from your son alright. Stay away... forever!
Homer: Oh no!
Sideshow Bob: Wait, that was no good... [walks away, The Simpsons are confused] Wait! I've got a good one now. Marge, say "stay away from my son" again.
Marge: No!
Wiggum: And once a man is in your home, anything you do to him is nice and legal.
Homer: Is that so? Oh, Flanders! Won't you join me in my kitchen?
Wiggum: Uh, it doesn't work if you invite him.
[Flanders enters.]
Flanders: Hey-dilly hey!
Homer: [sourly] Go home.
Flanders: [unfazed] Too-dilly doo!
Blue-Haired Lawyer: Robert, if released, would you pose any threat to one Bart Simpson?
Sideshow Bob: [faking innocence] Bart Simpson? [chuckles] The spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes and [maliciously] sent me to this dank, urine-soaked hellhole?
Officer: Uh, we object to the term, "urine-soaked hellhole," when you could have said, "peepee-soaked heckhole."
Sideshow Bob: Cheerfully withdrawn.
Lawyer: But what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say, "Die, Bart, Die"?
Sideshow Bob: (conciliatorily) No, that's German for "The, Bart, The."
[The spectators laugh and show understanding]
Officer: No one who speaks German could be an evil man!
Judge: Parole granted.
Selma: Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon.
Blue-Haired Lawyer: Who's thinking of killing her right now?
[A majority of the court reluctantly puts up their hand.]
Blue-Haired Lawyer: Be honest...
[Everyone in court puts up their hand, including Patty. The man next to her gasps.]
Patty: Eh, she's always leaving the toilet seat up.
Chief Wiggum: Sideshow Bob has no decency. He called me Chief Piggum!
[Everyone in the courtroom laughs.]
Chief Wiggum: Heh, now I get it! That's good.
[As Bart walks by the Flanders's house, Ned brandishes a Freddy Kruger-style glove.]
Ned Flanders: [threateningly] Say your prayers, Simpson...
[Bart cowers.]
Ned Flanders: [cheerfully] ...because the schools can't force you like they should!
[Ned uses the glove to prune the hedge as Maude approaches with lemonade.]
Ned Flanders: Maude, these new finger razors make hedge trimming as much fun as sitting through church!