Das Bus Quotes
alph: I ated the purple berries!
Bart: How are they, Ralph? Good?
Ralph: They taste like.. burning!
Homer: [reading Internet for Dummies: Remedial Edition] Oh, they have the Internet on computers now.
Marge: Homer, Bill Gates is here.
Homer: Bill Gates? Billionaire computer nerd Bill Gates? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Get out of sight, Marge. I don't want this to look like a two-bit operation.
Bill Gates: Mr. Simpson?
Homer: You don't look so rich.
Bill Gates: Don't let the haircut fool you. I'm exceedingly wealthy.
Homer: [sotto voce] Get a load of the bowl job, Marge.
Bill Gates: Your Internet ad was brought to my attention but I can't figure out what, if anything, CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet does. So, rather than risk competing with you, I've decided simply to buy you out.
Homer: [softly] This is it, Marge. I poured my heart and soul into this business and now it's finally paying off. We're rich! Richer than astronauts!
Marge: [softly] Homer, quiet! You'll queer the deal.
Homer: Oh, right. [out loud] I reluctantly accept your proposal.
Bill Gates: Well, everyone always does. Buy him out, boys.
(assistants begin breaking things on Homer's dining table-turned-office)
Homer: Hey, what the hell's going on?
Bill Gates: Oh, I didn't get rich by writing a lot of checks. [cackles loudly]
Homer: Welcome to the Internet, my friend. How can I help you?
Comic Book Guy: I'm interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud Internet connection to a 1.5 megabit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that's compatible with my token ring Ethernet LAN configuration?
Homer (after staring blankly): Can I have some money now?
Homer: Oh. What am I gonna call my Internet company? All the good names are taken. Oh, wait. I've got it. Flancrest Enterprises. [checks name availability] D'oh!
Marge: What exactly is it your company does again?
Homer: This industry moves so fast, it's really hard to tell. That's why I need a name that's cutting edge like CUTCO or Edgecom. Interslice. Come on, Marge. You're good at these. Help me out.
Marge: How about CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet?
Homer: Fine. It's not important. What really matters is my title. I think I'll make myself... vice president. No, wait. Junior vice president. (phone rings) CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet, Junior vice president Homer Simpson speaking. How may I direct your call? [looks annoyed, then hands phone to Marge] It's Patty.
Marge: Homer, what are you doing?
Homer: No time to answer that, Marge. I'm setting up a home office for my new business enterprise.
Marge: What business enterprise?
Homer: Ever heard of a little thing called the Internet?.
Marge: Internet, eh?
Homer: Oh, yeah. Everybody's making money off the Internet except us. We've fallen behind. Way behind.
Marge: [points to the butter that is serving as a pencil-holder] Is that my good butter?
Homer: Can't discuss that now, Marge. I have to write another delicious memo. [holds pencil tip to mouth] Mmm. Memo.
Lisa: Point of order, if we want to learn anything, we must respect--
Bart: Point of "odor," Lisa stinks.
(children laugh)
Sherri/Terri: Hey, leave her alone.
Nelson: You leave her alone.
(children are all shouting at each other)
Ralph: Oh, Canada!
Principal Skinner: Order, order. Do you kids want to be like the real U.N., or do you just want to squabble and waste time?
Marge: It's so late. You kids have to go to bed.
Bart: But the flood's only knee high. At least let us watch till the midgets drown.
Lisa: Yeah, Mom. Come on. You let us stay up to watch Troy McClure in such other Bible epics as David Versus Super-Goliath and Suddenly, Last Supper.
Bart: Go, Lise. Way to cite precedent. [Bart and Lisa high-five]
Principal Skinner: Poland, tell me about your nation's achievements.
Milhouse: Well, uh, I heard they sent a rocket to the sun once...at night. And there was that submarine with the screen door...
Skinner: Oh, no. Young man you need to do some serious boning.