Homer the Vigilante Quotes
Lisa: Dad, someone stole my saxophone.
Homer: Woo hoo!
Bart: Dad, someone stole our portable TV.
Homer: D'oh!
Chief Wiggum: Oh, sorry folks. (Sarcastic) Gee, I really hate to spoil this little love-in, but Mr. Malloy broke the law. And when you break the law, you gotta go to jail.
Mayor Quimby: Uh, that reminds me, er, here's your monthly kickback.
Chief Wiggum: You just -- you couldn't have picked a worse time.
Barney: (After waking up and seeing he is left completely naked and his house is stripped bare, after being robbed) Gee, I thought I had more stuff than this.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 18th, 2007Lisa: Bart's pain is funny, but mine isn't.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 18th, 2007 Homer (inspecting his squad): All right, men. It's time to clean-up this town! (pause)
Skinner: Meaning what exactly?
Homer: You know, push people around, make ourselves feel big.
Homer: For our secret mission, we need code names. I'll be Cue Ball, Skinner will be eight ball, Barney will be twelve ball, and Moe will be cue ball.
Moe: You're an idiot.
Homer: So, Mr. Malloy, it seems that the cat has been caught by the very person who was trying to catch him.
Skinner: How ironic.
Homer: Well, Mr. Cat Burglar, you'd like to get in here, wouldn't you? There's just one little problem: 36 years ago, some lady gave birth to a man named Homer J. Simp -- Oh my god: underage kids drinking beer without a permit!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 18th, 2007 Kent Brockman: Professor, would you say it's time for our viewers to panic?
Professor: Mmm, yes I would, Kent.
Kent Brockman: Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes than it's been preventing?
Homer: Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes...
Kent Brockman: ...Well, touché.